I’m a dreamer. I’ve always been. Maybe it’s why I’m so passionate about change but so afraid to embrace it. Uprooting my life has been hard. It’s a change I worked for, busted my ass for – and I know it’s going to work out and things will be okay! – but by God, it’s fucking killing me.
I’ve had so much free time on my hands, I don’t even know what to do with myself right now. Why is it that we have the most time when we don’t have money to do anything?
Netflix and Hulu decided to draw money out of my account at the same time. I wasn’t even thinking, I would’ve been okay, but I spent $12 at Sunoco and with the $20 deducted on top of that? My $15 turned into -$57 after the overdraft fee was added in.
Hey guys, long time no see. Things have been so hectic! Let me tell you, I moved, and it was the biggest shit show of a move. Never again. The next time we move, I’m giving myself at least a week before we need to be out. Because this shit was awful.
So my last update I had just quit my job, and we had one day to be out. Well, they let us know they wouldn’t actually be there until 8:30 AM Wednesday morning, so it gave us a little more time.
I had my last day of work yesterday. How crazy is that? This job I’ve been at for well over 2 years that’s been stressing me out so much? I finally got myself out. C and I are Pittsburgh bound tomorrow, but there is still so much left to pack and get done. Doesn’t help that I’m sick either.
The last month has felt crazy surreal. The fact that I’m really moving is starting to finally sink in. I’ve been working so much it hasn’t felt real yet. But yesterday I started to pack my room, spending my last day at home. Aside from throwing my clothes in bags, it’s pretty much done and ready to go.
Time has been flying by so. damn. fast. I seriously cannot keep up with it anymore. It feels like it’s been a lot of me fighting lately, fighting to get out of this situation I’ve felt stuck and cooped up in. But I’ve also been at a standstill, waiting for things to change, for something to move.
Honestly, I’ve just been crazy busy this last week. With everything going on, things have been all over the place. I’ve been an emotional wreck off and on. Work has been stressing me like crazy, and all my free time is being pulled by C and by my mother. My mother is like jealous of the fact I just want to be with C all the time.
I don’t even know what to make of things anymore. It’s like, the moment I think things are going well and great, it blows up in my face. Can I be happy? It’s a question to be determined, I guess.
My mom decided to google C. And gather information on him. I’m assuming she got his last name off of my Facebook, and went from there. Basically, she saw that he has a record. He’s been to jail for being caught with drugs, and for assault. Both instances, he has told me about before. She questioned me, asked me if he ever told me anything. He tells me everything, but I kept my guard up because I wanted to know what she was going to show me.
That coffee body scrub I got in my ipsy bag? Simply amazing. It smells so good! And makes my skin feel so smooth. Too bad I only have maybe one more use out of it, such a shame.
I’m off today and tomorrow, same days as last week. I could get used to going back on this schedule – I just want something steady. I hate not knowing when my days off are. We lost a new cashier already, some kind of baby daddy drama and not enough time. Not sure entirely. We just lose people left and right anymore.
I’m so happy I’m off today and tomorrow. This past weekend was hell. For starters, it was gorgeous outside – first few days of the season where it was 70 degrees – so, naturally, everyone was buying beer. Which meant that every time I tried to go do something at work, I couldn’t, because we just had people walking in every minute. And when I can’t get things done, it stresses me out. To top it off, my other cashiers requested this weekend off previously. A1 had her softball games, and D and MJ were doing something, I dunno.