I don’t even know what to make of things anymore. It’s like, the moment I think things are going well and great, it blows up in my face. Can I be happy? It’s a question to be determined, I guess.
My mom decided to google C. And gather information on him. I’m assuming she got his last name off of my Facebook, and went from there. Basically, she saw that he has a record. He’s been to jail for being caught with drugs, and for assault. Both instances, he has told me about before. She questioned me, asked me if he ever told me anything. He tells me everything, but I kept my guard up because I wanted to know what she was going to show me.
One more month. I am just about officially one month away from vacation. And I’ve yet to bring it up to my mother. Whoops. Honestly, it’s mostly because I know she’ll get mad at first. She always does. “Why didn’t you invite me, too?” is what she’ll eventually ask. I love her, but like, come on? But just like a band-aid, I’m going to have to rip it off.
There are many reasons why I’ve grown to love blogging. For one, the blogging community is very supportive. I just posted about how I was sick and so many of you commented and told me to get better and to focus on myself for a bit. Thanks so much for the love! I’m feeling a little better, and more motivated to write.
If I looked over the past year, I could easily say that the person coming into the year is different than the person that I am right now, at this moment. That girl back in January, she was optimistic, but that optimism faded fast and she fell back into a funk. And after being screwed over by a guy, and hitting and missing with others – not to mention that weird interest in a former coworker – she was alone until she met someone who changed her whole outlook.
Why am I talking in third person?
Moving on. Looking back, I’ve been through a few things this year, and it’s weird to think of how much has changed since it started. I’ve definitely grown, so here are 7 lessons I’ve learned so far this year:
As quite a few of you probably know by now, I’ve been seeing this guy, Ray, since the end of May. The beginning of the year was filled with a couple of one night stands and bad dates, all leading nowhere. And then I met Ray. For the first time, maybe ever, I met someone who said, “Hey, I want to make this work.” And not only said that, but has been active about keeping this long distance thing real.
Everyone has their own tastes in the opposite (or same) sex. Everyone has their own ways of describing their “dream” person, someone who is bonafide sexy and perfect. Yet, for everyone, this person is always different. Some want that tall, handsome, mysterious stranger. Others want someone a little more down-to-earth and real. Maybe you’re fantasizing after that fictional dream guy in that series you started reading. Whatever the case may be, we discover, eventually, that there is no such thing as the perfect person. The chances of you finding someone you pictured in that sense is also very rare.
But this is not a post about finding the perfect person or dream guy. It’s about what attracts you to another person. Is it features? Aesthetics are everything these days. Or is it personality? Funny and charming can go a long way. Or maybe you’re attracted to someone who’s a little more reserved, doesn’t say much – but their actions say it all.
It’s crazy, how you look back at yourself from a year ago and you realize that there’s no way you’re still the same person. We’re ever changing, always growing and learning from our experiences. Even lack of experience can help you grow into learning that you really need to go out and experience life.
So how have I changed in two years? A lot. Ha, it’s true though. The person I am now has grown out of her shell over the last few years. My tolerance for bullshit is very limited. Two years ago I was about to enter my senior year of college, and the only thing I had to look forward to was graduation so I could move and get away. Another HA because I never got away.