This insomnia bullshit is getting in the way of my best sleep. All I do is toss and turn all night trying to get comfortable. Doesn’t work. I can’t fall asleep fast enough and then I get too hot and have to turn again. On top of that, the baby is active a lot more when I’m laying down. While I love feeling him move, it makes it rather hard to get comfortable or fall asleep.
Time is flying by so quickly these days, I can’t keep up with writing everything down. I think this is the longest break I’ve taken from this blog since I started it back up. Where I had too much time before, I just don’t have the same luxury anymore. Or a computer, still. It’s harder doing everything off of my phone.
Anyways! Long time no see. I left my last post stressed out, and while things are still hectic and crazy, a lot has also changed in this new year.
Time has been flying by so. damn. fast. I seriously cannot keep up with it anymore. It feels like it’s been a lot of me fighting lately, fighting to get out of this situation I’ve felt stuck and cooped up in. But I’ve also been at a standstill, waiting for things to change, for something to move.
It’s crazy to believe that it’s already August, which means a year ago, I restarted this blog and brought it back alive. And then a few months ago, I went and stopped blogging again. When you look back over the last year, it’s bizarre the amount of changes that can happen.
It’s funny, how when you look back on things you realize things you never realized before. Looking back at the 10 months I spent with Ray, I’m noticing things I just didn’t make a big deal out of back then.
When Ray and I started dating, we met off of tinder. We matched, and I want to say I messaged him first. After a couple of days of talking, he had mentioned he wanted to take me out for drinks. When I told him I was about an hour away, he was still down for meeting up, and he drove up to see me a few days later.
In a lot of ways, I feel like most of my life I’ve had nothing but setbacks. Goals for the future that were put off by someone else, or just never achieved. And you know what? It flat out sucks. Bad. Because the more setbacks in your life, the more you start to feel as if nothing is going to happen.
So how do you get past that feeling? How do you keep moving forward when everything is going wrong? Perseverance. Hope. Strength.
Spring is right around the corner! Finally. Winter is always the longest season, at least when you live up north. And even once Spring hits? It can still snow in May. There is little hope here. But we’re going to stay optimistic because warmer days are approaching, which means shorts weather and sunshine and the sun is already staying out later and later. That part makes me so happy! So in preparing for all of this, I thought it’s time to get myself back on track with a goal list, a bucket list, for this upcoming season. That gives me 3 months to get these things done and accomplished. The real question here, is can I actually motivate myself to keep on track? Only time will tell, I guess!
I went to urgent care last night. Left work early because I was so sick work was a struggle. C kept poking fun at me because I could barely talk and I kept trying to warm myself up by standing next to the pizza oven. They basically confirmed I had strep throat (honestly the most the lady did was look at my throat, listen to my breathing, and just said I had strep). No strep test was taken, but I pretty much assumed it was that anyways. So now I’m on antibiotics, again, and I took today off work (and since I’m seeing Ray, I’m off the next two days as well).
Alright guys, we’ve finally made it – New Year’s is rapidly approaching! What are you doing for it? I’m not going to make any outrageous goals this year, just a few few to keep me grounded and to remind myself what I’m really going after.
I’ve never officially wrote out a bucket list before. So this list, is actually me writing everything out right now. Certain things, like going to college, graduating – I’ve already done and am going to leave it off the list. The rest, I may eventually wind up adding to. But for now, here are some things I for sure want to do before I die: