All posts by Laken

Just a girl who's trying to find herself in this crazy world.

Roommates

Alright, I have to rant a little.

I’m thankful for the people in my life who have offered me a place to stay and helped me out. But after a certain point, you start to wonder who’s helping who out more. You start to feel as though you get taken advantage of or overlooked.

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Pregnancy Insomnia

This insomnia bullshit is getting in the way of my best sleep. All I do is toss and turn all night trying to get comfortable. Doesn’t work. I can’t fall asleep fast enough and then I get too hot and have to turn again. On top of that, the baby is active a lot more when I’m laying down. While I love feeling him move, it makes it rather hard to get comfortable or fall asleep.

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Journal Entry (#59)

July 27, 2018
1:51 PM

Life has been way too busy for me lately, time has been flying by so quickly, and I’m less than 11 weeks away from my due date. They say the last trimester goes by slowly, but there’s so much I have to get done that it feels like time has just been moving too quickly for me to enjoy it.

We’ve been living with my friend, B, for almost a month already, which is crazy to me. Time felt so weird when we were living with C’s friends. We were in this weird in between stage with them, and now that we’re here, we’re in crunch time really. I want to get our own place by September 1st. But it honestly doesn’t feel that far away anymore. We’re almost to August and my only hopeful prospect for a place was one that I looked at a couple hours ago.

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Journal Entry (#58)

June 6, 2019
9:33 AM

I think I’m addicted to chocolate peanut butter cheerios these days. Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I’ve actually been trying to eat a little healthier and make sure I eat breakfast every morning. Plus take my prenatal. But those cheerios? Those are like the perfect snack in the morning.

Things have been in this big in between stage lately. I have no idea what’s really going to happen in the next few months. This pregnancy made for this unexpected future – not that it’s bad, it really is not at all. All of my plans that I had before, those have all changed. I’m starting from scratch again. And I’m scared a little.

We found out we’re having a boy!

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Journal Entry #57

May 4, 2019

12:21 P.M.

Time is flying by so quickly these days, I can’t keep up with writing everything down. I think this is the longest break I’ve taken from this blog since I started it back up. Where I had too much time before, I just don’t have the same luxury anymore. Or a computer, still. It’s harder doing everything off of my phone.

Anyways! Long time no see. I left my last post stressed out, and while things are still hectic and crazy, a lot has also changed in this new year.

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Journal Entry (#56)

December 30, 2018

1:14 PM

I’ve been overwhelmed.

It’s funny, I feel like I’ve been waiting so long for this chance to be on my own, but I wasn’t prepared for all the setbacks that have come my way.

Things are slowly coming together though, and I’ve been pushing through my anxiety and depression and working on bettering my mindset about things.

Surviving paycheck to paycheck has been a struggle.

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Journal Entry (#55)

Monday,

November 26, 2018

I’m a dreamer. I’ve always been. Maybe it’s why I’m so passionate about change but so afraid to embrace it. Uprooting my life has been hard. It’s a change I worked for, busted my ass for – and I know it’s going to work out and things will be okay! – but by God, it’s fucking killing me.

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Journal Entry (#54)

November 8, 2018

6:51 PM

I’ve had so much free time on my hands, I don’t even know what to do with myself right now. Why is it that we have the most time when we don’t have money to do anything?

Netflix and Hulu decided to draw money out of my account at the same time. I wasn’t even thinking, I would’ve been okay, but I spent $12 at Sunoco and with the $20 deducted on top of that? My $15 turned into -$57 after the overdraft fee was added in.

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Journal Entry (#53)

November 3, 2018

9:57 AM

Hey guys, long time no see. Things have been so hectic! Let me tell you, I moved, and it was the biggest shit show of a move. Never again. The next time we move, I’m giving myself at least a week before we need to be out. Because this shit was awful.

So my last update I had just quit my job, and we had one day to be out. Well, they let us know they wouldn’t actually be there until 8:30 AM Wednesday morning, so it gave us a little more time.

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Journal Entry (#52)

October 15, 2018
11:06 AM

I had my last day of work yesterday. How crazy is that? This job I’ve been at for well over 2 years that’s been stressing me out so much? I finally got myself out. C and I are Pittsburgh bound tomorrow, but there is still so much left to pack and get done. Doesn’t help that I’m sick either.

The last month has felt crazy surreal. The fact that I’m really moving is starting to finally sink in. I’ve been working so much it hasn’t felt real yet. But yesterday I started to pack my room, spending my last day at home. Aside from throwing my clothes in bags, it’s pretty much done and ready to go.

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