Journal Entry (#61)

September 11, 2019
4:26 PM

After what feels like forever of searching, we have finally landed an apartment! We’re in the in-between stage right now, trying to get everything together and people to help us move. But the lease is signed, and we officially have a place to call our own!

It’s a one bedroom, but it has a living room and a dining room. They recently gutted the place out, so the kitchen and bathroom are brand new (the stove and fridge haven’t been used yet). We took the bottom floor, which was $50 cheaper, but it has a back patio area that’s just ours. There’s an upstairs that had a balcony and a little more space, but I didn’t want to get ourselves in over our head. Plus, the first floor is easier on me right now. (Although I did just see they relisted the top floor for the same amount now, which now is a little annoying, but oh well).

There’s a basement that will be shared with whoever winds up renting the top floor, and they have laundry hookups. There’s a washer and dryer that was left from before down there, and for now, I’m going to take advantage of that. It can’t be that much different than using a laundromat, and if it works, then it’ll have to do. It’s too far of a walk to the laundromat down the road.

That’s the other thing, we’re close to an active bus line, but it is a bit of a walk to the road. And it goes a little uphill the closer you get. But honestly, we’re up in Mount Washington right now where it’s all hills, and if I can handle it now (which I mean, it’s tough and my feet swell up like crazy, but I’ve been doing it as necessary), then we should be okay. I’m just a little concerned about winter, but one problem at a time. At least we finally have a place!

And the best part is, we’ll be the first ones to live in it since the remodel. Now, the drawback is they are still doing work on the house, but it’s mainly outside (like the front steps all need fixed and the basement still needs work done with it). However, while doing some cleaning and sweeping yesterday, C and I noticed a few things that they still have to work on at the apartment.

The backdoor needs fixed. They have security locks with passcodes for the front door and our apartment door, but the backdoor is a little sketchy. When we were signing the lease the other day, the property manager (who’s been working with me, let’s call her K), she was saying that she was going to look into getting it replaced for us. There’s a room in the upstairs apartment that is missing a door, and we all kind of think they replaced this backdoor with that for some reason. There’s a double lock at least, but it’s definitely been broken into in the past. And I’d rather get something a little more secure.

The radiators have so much dust in them, I’m actually a little worried about turning the heat on once it gets cold. He got a lot out, but it’s hard to reach it all. With the baby coming, I want to get that taken care of. There’s also a thing of wood blocking off the fireplace in the living room, but one gentle push had it falling backwards, and I’d rather not get stuff coming in the house if we can help it.

The last thing was in the shower (which unfortunately, it’s not a tub, so no relaxing baths, BUT, it is a wide shower). There’s one section that doesn’t look like they sealed. When you spray water on it, stuff comes out, and C is concerned about that molding over time.

But overall? It’s not bad at all, it’s actually a nice little apartment. They also included a portable AC with the unit, and they’re supposed to get us another one eventually, too, which we’ll definitely need for the bedroom.

I’m excited.

I’ll post pictures of the place at some point, at least the inside! I want to get moved and settled so bad at this point. Baby is due in less than a month and I’m getting anxious because we still have to get the crib and stroller and car seat and just everything together for his arrival. I won’t be able to feel prepared until then, and even then, I dunno how well prepared I’ll feel, but at least if we have the stuff to make sure he’s going to be able to come home, I’ll feel so much better.

Because, I’ve gotten a lot bigger in just a few short weeks. It’s getting hard on me to stand all day at work and do the commute I’m doing. It’s getting real hard. And baby boy is very active most days. They were trying to hear his heartbeat last week at my appointment, and she had to keep moving the thing around because he wouldn’t stay still. Which is good! But it could also mean he’s getting anxious and wants to come out, so he could come early. And I’m not ready for him to come so early, which is terrible, but if he can just hold on a little while longer, I’m trying!

I’m still not sure what to expect in the upcoming days. My whole life is about to change in a big way. But I do know I’m excited to finally be able to unpack our stuff. We’ve been living out of boxes for the last year (just about). And honestly, in almost a year I’ll have lived in 5 different places. Because before we moved to Pittsburgh, I lived between my mother’s house and C’s. Then we moved in with C’s friends, and then my friend, and finally we’ll be in our own place.

I think it’s understandable why I haven’t felt at home in a long time.

We’ve basically been living out of our rooms since we started living with friends, too. Aside from that two week period before we moved into B’s place, we haven’t had the luxury of just coming home and relaxing wherever we feel like.

The commute has been really killing me, too. I think I mentioned that. But working so far away (it’s not even that far away, but with the bus? It’s a 40 minute bus ride and that doesn’t include the walking home).

My job has also just gotten worse and worse. I got my hours adjusted so I can have more time off, but I still have to work 30 hours to maintain my health insurance. So I told my supervisor I could do 8:00am – 6:30pm (close). I did that so I could get three 10 hour shifts a week, with days off in between. But it’s only really going to count towards the next 2-3 weeks, and the way she’s done the schedule, I’m worried she’s going to rely on me as a closer, which isn’t fair. My commute is still going to suck, but instead I’ll be catching two busses (unless I get a ride down the road).

And, for some odd reason, when she made this latest schedule, she put me on the machine on Friday the 28th. My due date is October 8th, so I know I’m going to be miserable those last few weeks (not to mention, baby could come early!). So why she would put me on there for a job that has to get done, beats me. I told her I didn’t want her to rely on me those last few weeks because anything can happen. And then she did that. I don’t think she’s thinking.

Not just that, though, it’s hard on me to bend over and pull drugs anymore. Friday’s are big days, and it’s a lot of bending for me to grab all these drugs. Not to mention, I might need to ask my doctor to get more sit down breaks in between because being on my feet all day is not helping the swelling in my feet at all. I can’t stop to relax if I’m on the machine. We have too much shit to get done.

And this place is just so tiring. There’s no appreciation for the workers in the pharmacy, just more work added and less people. We’ve pretty much lost another good worker, she was in a car accident a couple weeks ago, and she hasn’t been back in. Apparently her car was totaled, and she had a concussion, and her back got even more messed up than what it was before. And they want to do surgery on her neck, but she doesn’t want to risk it.

I highly doubt she’s coming back because of this.

Yet, my supervisor keeps scheduling her, and then when she’s not able to be there on a closing shift, we get left with two people, and those two people get screwed even more for the night. I don’t understand the logic here.

Point is, we’re losing people faster than we can train new ones. They’re about to lose me in a few weeks, too. But yet, new homes are coming in October. It’s absolutely hysterical.

The one brother came in the other day and made a comment to a girl I work with – she was sorting meds for a home and we can listen to music when we sort – that because he walked in on her while she was changing a song on her phone, that it was the reason why cycle wasn’t getting done. Which is complete bullshit, and this is the brother who shows up maybe once a week and I never see him do anything. He once came in and questioned another pharmacist about, “Oh are we doing this now?”

Like, bro, if you don’t even know how your company is being run, or get to know your employees, you’re asking for a lot to keep expecting this amount of work to get done on time. Not to mention the lack of incentive here. They’d rather hire new people than to pay their current employees better. Can someone help me understand this?

But, then again, this is the same brother, who’s wife handles the billing, and when it came to the issue with one of our lead techs stealing Suboxone for three years, it ultimately comes back on her for not catching it. I understand she has cancer, but if she wasn’t able to catch that, why are they blaming everyone else in the pharmacy and basically punishing us for what none of us knew? Because they’re using that as an excuse to not give us a raise.

Like, please, they’re making bank at this pharmacy. They have to be. They’ve added so much business, but are cutting costs on everything? Do they really think people are going to stick around the longer this goes on? Half the people there are just biding time until something better comes along. They don’t want to be there. And a lot of people are openly frustrated and angry.

They never even held a meeting after all of this. So, do you really expect us to work faster and harder and at this pace every single day? Fuck you. It’s bad when you open and you feel obligated to stay because the closers are short staffed and it’s busy as fuck. But you know what, that’s another thing people are getting fed up with. Because it’s the same ones who stay all the time. And it should not be an expectation.

Anyways, I’ll be out of this place soon enough, I just have to bide my time until my son arrives. I’m leaving on a good notice, too, in case I would have to come back. But it’s really not worth it to me at all. I’d rather try something new. I need that.

This was last week (35 weeks). This baby is definitely taking a toll on my body.

Things are slowly coming together. Not fast enough for me, but they are starting to. I might have some more time to write after things wind down, too. I hope so at least, I miss being more consistent and talking about things other than just my life. I’ve had post ideas but no time to write them, sadly.

I hope everyone is having a good week! ❤

5:03 PM

6 thoughts on “Journal Entry (#61)”

  1. Yay!! I’m so happy that you guys found your own place ♡ right on time, too. Aw, I just love how everything always works out in the end!

    Your job sounds like such a mess. At least you won’t have to be going back after you have the baby. I can’t believe how soon he will be here. ♡ Can’t wait to see him!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right? We really cut it close! But you’re right, they usually do ☺️

      That place is definitely a mess lol. And I had Xavier one week ago today ❤️ it’s weird, I didn’t know my last day was my last day, I’m not going back 😂 and I can’t believe he’s here already. He’s amazing.

      Liked by 1 person

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