Roommates

Alright, I have to rant a little.

I’m thankful for the people in my life who have offered me a place to stay and helped me out. But after a certain point, you start to wonder who’s helping who out more. You start to feel as though you get taken advantage of or overlooked.

Before living with M and S, I had only lived at home. And living at home had it’s own drawbacks (and it was mentally exhausting and stressful), but at least the one thing I can say is my mom kept a clean house. We always had what we needed (for the most part), and as much as I bitched about cleaning at her convenience, well, at least the house got cleaned on a regular.

Prior to moving in with those two, I had basically started living with C. And… we made a good balance for the most part. Sure, there’s things he does that annoys me, and he doesn’t clean up his stuff as fast as I want him to, but at least when he cleans, he cleans well. And I had free reign at his place. I made sure that place didn’t look like a trash pit after a night of having friends over. Dishes were done as soon as they started piling up. And the best part? It was just us, so it was easier to keep up with. I honestly didn’t mind it because I could do things at my leisure, versus being told to do them.

At M and S’s place, I started to gain a bit of freedom. Or I felt freer. But eventually, there were drawbacks. The room we stayed in was rather small for starters. Half the size of their room. Majority of our stuff was left in the basement because there was absolutely no room anywhere upstairs for it.

That was the thing, too. 90% of what was in the main part of the house, it was theirs, not ours. Sure, they shared, but it never felt like home to me. The living room was their space, C and I hardly ever spent time down there. We lived out of our room. And our room was very cramped. When I got pregnant, and started getting bigger, our room felt even more claustrophobic.

But I didn’t want to bitch, they were helping us out. Or were they really?

Weren’t we helping them out more by paying half the bills now? We had less space, but paid the same amount. And we were contributing towards things we didn’t even benefit from.

Then the little things started to pile up. Like the dishes. M would make a dinner and leave her messy dishes piled up in the sink, not rinsed or soaking. And if I wanted to cook or do something, I had to work around that or do up the dishes. Because even if they did do dishes, I usually felt the need to redo them.

Here’s a fun fact: the dishwasher only does so much work. You can’t stick a plate in the dishwasher with food still on it and expect the dishwasher to scrub it off. It’s not going to happen. It might get most of it, but not all. And honestly? Think about the fact that all that food is piling up in your dishwasher, and it’s not really helping the cleaning issue. I think this is why I prefer cleaning my dishes by hand anymore. At least I know it’s clean and scrubbed.

I’m running into a worse issue at my current place. With 5 of us here (and one of their friends has been here for over a week), there is always dirty dishes in the sink. I cleaned the kitchen up, did a shit ton of dishes (by hand, not dishwasher), scrubbed the stove up, and all the counters, only to have it a mess two days later. It’s getting annoying. I understand that people don’t feel like doing dishes everyday, but when you live with people, it’s a common decency to at least do up your own dishes.

They’re also terrible about cleaning very well, though. Half the time I grab a dish or glass I have to inspect it because there’s still food on it. It’s annoying. Maybe some people are okay with that, but I grew up in a house where I had to do dishes just about every night. And if they had shit on them? I had to redo them. No half assing it. So maybe it’s bad for me to have that expectation of other people, but I honestly can’t live like that. Too OCD.

I thought my mom was anal about shit? I get it now. People are nasty.

Not even talking about the kitchen anymore, there’s the bathroom issue. Because it’s bad right now. And I’m honestly disgusted by it.

There’s shit all over the sink. Random stuff. There’s a glass just sitting on the sink for no reason, hair all over the place because someone shaved or trimmed. Combs and brushes, a shower cap, and other odd stuff that just doesn’t need to be there. There’s even hair in the cupboard above it.

The sink right now. Aside from our toothbrushes, and the Skin So Soft gel in the back right corner, the rest is other people’s. I had to get the hand soap because there was none in the bathroom for 3 days.
There’s just random stuff

That’s not even the worst part.

At this moment, we have about 5? towels just bunched up and hanging on the rod by the toilet. One or two of them is on the floor. C and I keep our towels in our room.  There was no hand towel in the bathroom when we moved in, I added one.

Honestly, like, what the hell? I don’t even like the idea of my towel touching someone else’s.

The toilet has this urine smell to it, I don’t know if it’s the plumbing or just the fact that someone can’t aim and there’s piss stains underneath the seat. Oh, I about fell in the other day and accidentally sat down without realizing the seat wasn’t down. Nasty.

I had to switch out the garbage after a month of being here. It was overflowing and no one was bothering. There’s just random shit laying on the floor, no one bothers picking it up.

That same day, I had noticed that someone had apparently shaved inside of the shower? I’m confused by this, but there were hairs all over the side and the inside of the tub. Not sure if it was beard or pubic but both are nasty. B’s fiance got in the shower right after I noticed and I think she at least got rid of the hair, but still.

It looks worse in person.

The tub looks nasty, I refuse to clean it based off the fact we’re not staying here very long. But, it looks bad. Also, I have to admit that I think they’re still using the same shower curtain that they did when I came to visit two years ago.

B’s fiance cleaned out the bathroom a few weeks ago. These have just been lying here since then. That’s also our box spring we can’t fit upstairs.

Another thing that’s been bothering me, too, is that a week after moving in, B’s roommate L, he went away for a week. Which is fine. But C’s Head & Shoulder’s shampoo/conditioner went missing the day he left. It was over half full, recently bought. Never returned. We had to buy another for him.

Today, the main reason for my post, is I went to go downstairs to do laundry. This is the second time that I have had to pull L’s stuff out of the washer and dryer (he was doing laundry 3-4 days ago by the way), so I could use it. And then I noticed that there was no more dryer sheets. At all. And I don’t get it. I had half a pack of Gain dryer sheets that someone else used, and there was still a good amount of B’s dryer sheets the last time I did laundry (two weeks ago). L had obviously used the last and just didn’t bother saying anything or replacing them.

And I’m pretty sure someone else started using my Tide pods, which annoys me because they aren’t that cheap. Not when they have cheap detergent down there.

I started switching out my laundry stuff because I was breaking out from certain scents in other products. I bought Gain before and used it until it ran out, but it was causing my skin to be itchy and blotchy. So I recently started switching back to Tide, and I just bought scent-free fabric softener and today I got scent-free dryer sheets.

My point is, I’m starting to buy the better stuff, so it’s slightly more expensive. I don’t feel like sharing my stuff if people are just going to take advantage of it. It’s not fair.

I was talking to C about it earlier because I was annoyed to have to leave the house on my only real day off to myself.

It’s not really my friend B who I’m having issues with, or his fiance. It’s the other one. He doesn’t do anything at all around the house, he’s messy, dirty, and he makes the most money out of everyone. B mowed the lawn earlier and weed whacked, and told me he waited so long to do it to see if L would do anything about it. He didn’t. Apparently he did it once last summer and none the summer before that. He’s very lazy.

I’m thankful for being given the chance to have a place to stay and crash for a little while, but I am beyond ready for my own place. There is something about just coming home to your partner or a quiet house and being able to unwind and relax. If I go to the kitchen, I want it to look like how I left it. If I need the bathroom, I don’t want to have to wait for someone else to get done. And I certainly am not cleaning the bathroom when it looked horrible upon moving in. It won’t stay clean, so what’s the point?

But at my own place? It’s going to be clean.

When M and S officially moved out in June, and C and I had the place to ourselves for two weeks, it was almost paradise. Sure, it was empty, but it was quiet. And peaceful. I felt relaxed so much more that way. I tense up around other people sometimes, and it’s nice to not have to talk to someone the moment you walk in the door.

And it’s nice being in charge of your own bills, not having someone else approach you about them. Plus, that way you also know exactly what you’re paying or getting yourself into.

I’m just ready. I can’t even get things prepared for the baby until we land our own place. And the baby is coming, very soon. Two months left. I don’t have much time anymore to play around with, and I’m starting to stress about it. I’m getting bigger and bigger, and baby is getting more and more active. I’m excited, I really am, I want to meet him. But I’m scared of not having my shit together and for it to be rough the first few months.

Anyways, what’s your take on roommates? What are some of your best and worst experiences? Let me know (:

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9 thoughts on “Roommates”

  1. I’m definitely a home-is-where-my-sanity-is kind of person and I never did well with roommates (as a young adult) and I’m not even excited if we have family stay for an extended period. However, we work, live, and travel in an RV full time (by choice), so it’s a small space as opposed to our large house we sold to live this lifestyle. I learned living with friends is never a good idea, especially if the friendship is highly valued. There is also a lot to be said for open communication and setting boundaries in any living situation–if it bugs me, it’s much less stressful to let it out and discuss it than let it fester in my head until I blow up. Since you are pregnant and the frustration level is higher than it should be, I hope you find a calming and more permanent solution that is more ideal for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m definitely the same with being where my sanity is! And I’m not a fan of anyone staying over for an extended period, family or friends. That’s awesome you guys travel around in an RV. Different scenery everyday (:
      Living with friends you definitely learn more about them than you wanted to. And I agree with you. I like being able to talk to people and the last few times it’s been hard to bring up.
      And thank you, I do, too! I’m just hoping we get a place soon and don’t have to worry about it anymore.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh my dear, having roommates are something especially when one of them is so lazy, i went to a boarding school and was forced to share space with others, i still share space till now and it takes a special type of patience, learning to ignore some things to deal with them
    I hope that you get your place in time for the young one

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is! I don’t mind my friend and his fiancé too much, but the other roommate is horrible. It really does take a special kind of patience 😂 I don’t think I have it.
      And thank you!!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m not a clean freak like my mom is, but I feel your pain with this. I’ve never lived with anyone other than my mother, so I don’t think I could handle anyone’s sloppiness. I’m glad my mom has to have everything clean. Dirty dishes in the sink are a big pet peeve of mine. Even if I don’t do dishes right away, I will at least make sure they’re all rinsed off and not gross.

    “There’s shit all over the sink.” When I first read that line, I thought you literally meant poo. lmao! I was like omg!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I knew I couldn’t prior to moving out, but I wanted to try. I never realized how sloppy some people are. I’m glad my mom raised me to be a clean freak, too. I can’t stomach a pile of dirty dishes, it grosses me out. Like you, I have to at least rinse them off or soak them before walking away. A lot of people don’t 🤷‍♀️

      Lmao I’m sorry I gave you that mental image 😂 it’s bad, but not that bad hahah

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I wouldn’t be able to have a roommate because honestly, I’m the lazy one. I don’t get how you can be such a slob when other people live with you though! I’d try to pick up after myself & be as spotless as possible. The towels in the bathroom totally grossed me out! I’d hate that & hey, Tide Pods ARE expensive so I totally get why you were upset about someone using them.

    I can’t believe baby is already coming so soon, everything will fall into place before you know it. ♡ Will you post a photo when he’s born?! I wanna seeee!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s honestly what I mean! I don’t care what you do in your own house, but when you are sharing things or living with multiple people, you need to do your share, too. I’m not even asking them to be spotless, just clean up after yourself! I don’t feel like doing dishes every night either, but, to leave a dirty plate with food on it for four days straight (where ants are crawling over it) is just nasty, how can you do that? No wonder we have mice problems right now. And the towels did me in, but I refuse to clean that bathroom. I just hope we get a place soon, I’m slowly going insane lol.

      I will definitely post a photo when he comes! I know I’ll take a lot already lol. I have five more weeks before his due date, it’s crazy how soon that is! I just need something to give before he’s here.

      Liked by 1 person

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