Journal Entry (#41)

April 21, 2018
9:24 AM

C and I working opposite schedules – it sucks. He’s working shifts like 4-1 or 4 to close, and I work mornings. So last night he gets himself to leave early, but early is 11:30 at night and I’m practically passing out so I tell him I’ll come over in the morning. Well, it’s the morning, and he’s not answering his phone or texts, which tells me one thing: he’s sleeping. And I just don’t want to go over there, try to knock or ring the doorbell, and have no one answer. So… I’m writing this entry instead. He works 3-11 tomorrow night, so if anything I’ll see him then. It’s just annoying trying to find time to spend together when our schedules clash like that.

Wednesday night I got to see him after he left work at least. He was scheduled until 10, but had to stay until 11. I met him up at the bar, and we shared some cake and a couple drinks together. It was kind of funny because when I showed up, I met up with a few of my coworkers and stood there talking. The owner, he comes around the bar, and he goes, “Oh my God, Laken!! What’re you doing out this late? Let me get you a drink on me!” I thought it was so funny. And he talked to me about serving, which I may finally get to do. Everyone keeps telling me I do actually deserve the chance, and I’m thinking it’s about time. It would not take long to train me at all, I know the menu and all of that. It’s just learning the tables and the liquor and what’s on draft that week. And the specials. That’s it.

Anyways, Wednesday was fun, C is always fun to go out with. But all he does is buy shots, so I had like 4 or 5 that night. And the tail end of the night is a bit blurry. We were hanging out with one of the servers, S, who actually was the cashier who trained me on register, but she became a server and stopped cashiering (what I think they’re afraid I’ll do). She’s always a riot to be around. She talked me into talking C into going to another bar to meet up with someone else. So we wound up doing that. C was getting handsy with me at our bar, but it’s like the more he drinks the more he just can’t keep his hands to himself at all. After a few shots, I don’t care if I’m making out with him at the bar. I really don’t. And there’s a part of me that loves that he loves being out with me. It makes me wonder how vacation will go. I can’t wait.

I’m hoping our schedules work themselves out soon, and I really do need to start spending the night with C, because walking back and getting yelled at for being late is annoying. And I just want to spend all my free time with him. I really do. We really do work well together. And it’s so different than how things were with Ray. C and I are very open with each other, and he’s not afraid to ask me things or tell me things – hell, he says he loves me. And I realize in a lot of ways, this is what my previous relationship was lacking. My mom wants to blame me hanging out with C for my relationship ending, but really, it was a lack of communication. It’d been going downhill for awhile, and after 6 months when Ray had yet to officially ask me to be his girlfriend, red flags just kept going up.

I still don’t know what’s going to happen, I still have to tell my mom about the vacation and it’s less than a month away now. I’m a seriously bad procrastinator at prolonging the inevitable. And the sooner she knows, the better, in all honesty. She can’t tell me no, so I don’t know what I’m so afraid of at this point, but I get nervous confronting her about these things. I feel like a child in a lot of ways still, it’s hard to adult when you still live at home under someone else’s rules. It’s why things have got to change soon. Whether I go to Pittsburgh or not, something has got to give.

In other news, my Splendies and my Allure Beauty Box have both finally shipped, so hopefully by next week I will have both of these. Hoping to get those reviews out before the end of the month, but they ship so late it’s hard to say!

I am slowly working on finally getting back on track again with this blog, and so far have managed to blog everyday this week, which is huge progress!

I’m just so ready to get through work this weekend, I really do want to get into serving just for some change. It’s getting redundant, and the same old bullshit on a different day.

9:41 AM


8 thoughts on “Journal Entry (#41)”

  1. You deserve to start serving! My boyfriend was only a host at his job for like 2 months before they promoted him to a server. They should let you be a server and find a new cashier!! You should get to be like the girl who trained you by now.
    Hopefully telling your ma about the vacay goes well! Can’t wait to see what you got in your boxes! 😄

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right? I’ve been waiting for them to get more people but it’s just been hard to keep people around. So I’ve been stuck not being able to serve which isn’t fair.
      And she wasn’t happy lol, I told her about it today 🙈 lol

      Liked by 1 person

      1. She’s calmed down about it now and accepted it, but she’s saying I lied to her because I didn’t tell her about it right away, and she’s worried about it. When I mentioned that C and I might do our own thing and stay in Florida, she said she preferred that to me going down to Alabama since C is half black and she’s worried about racism being a thing. And just like other things like that. She makes my head hurt, but she’s coming around.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Aw… yay at least she’s calmed down about it now! Lol you didn’t lie… you just kept a secret haha. Yeah Florida’s pretty sketchy about racism too, except for the tourist spots I heard.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Finally! Haha it’s okay some days and others she’s like very jealous I’m spending time with him 😂 and it wasn’t even about keeping it a secret, she’s hard to talk to and confront, but oh well 😂 and I mean everywhere can be. C has family in Florida so we really could make a trip there work, too, or at least half of the trip. either way, it’ll be fun because I’ll be with him ☺️

        Liked by 1 person

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