Journal Entry (#26)

February 18, 2018
9:00 AM

I slept great. For once. Seriously, I went to bed before 11 pm, and I woke up feeling so refreshed! And….*drumroll*…. I finally got my period the day after Valentine’s (see, I knew I wasn’t pregnant, I know my body too well). Finally. I knew it was coming, and I honestly think that’s why I’ve been in such a funk. It skipped January. I had no cycle at all for over a month and a half. It’s no wonder I’ve been all over the place. Because now that I have it? I’m feeling normal and ready to get back to it again. Which means, I’m going to work on getting back to posting on a regular again. Maybe not everyday, but more consistency than I’ve put in the last two weeks.

Via Unsplash

I’ve slacked on everything. My bullet journal hasn’t been kept up with like I had intended for. So I skipped this week, and I stopped halfway through the week before that. I plan on getting back into that as well. Words can’t described how relieved I am to finally be back to normal. Having your hormones all over the place is no fun at all. But I’m feeling optimistic again.

Ray told me to request off the 7th and 8th of March (Wednesday and Thursday). It falls on his Spring Break, and those are days where he’s free and doesn’t have work. He said he could pick me up Tuesday night after work, and I’m excited that we finally have a date set to see each other again. And he initiated it, which tells me he really does miss me, too.

I know I’m going to have to talk to Ray about things, about how unsure I’ve been, how all over the place I am. I just need to hear from him where he sees this going. When we’re going to make this official – yes, I’m his girlfriend, but… we’re not even Facebook official. And it’s not that I need that, but it feels weird that we haven’t even done that. I feel like I may have to pull things out from him, but I don’t want to give up on him. I want to make this work. It means a lot to me, and he means a lot to me. I don’t know if I’m in love with him, there are times when I think I could be, but the lack of intimate conversations makes it hard. You’d think with distance he’d get a little more personal with our talks, but he’s not that kind of guy. I get that. It just makes it harder for me to feel close to him I think. I do and I don’t.

Via Unsplash

I’ve been working up a storm, too. I clocked out last night at 39.97 hours. And I have a full day ahead of me to look forward to. And the next 5 days in a row. Guys, I’m on an 11 day work stretch, and today will mark day 6. I’m stoked that he gave me next weekend off (I hate working weekends), but I’m so ready for those two days off. I worked my first Saturday in a while, and I made less than $2 in tips. It’s bullshit. Ha. I make more money during the week because of my regulars I think. We’ll see how today goes, but I will say I’ve made over $30 in tips alone this week, and my change jar finally made it to over $100. I need to find time to take some of it to the bank. I think I’ll take it in parts. That’s a lot of change, it’s so heavy now. At this rate, I may be getting a new computer by Spring. Fingers crossed! Working all of these hours may pay off in the long run.

It makes me laugh that my mother thinks I work too much. I know last year I spent more money on things I didn’t need, and I splurged a bit. But, this year, I’m making a lot more money and working more hours than what I did last year. My tip game is doubled from what it used to be, and a lot of it is because my regulars show me appreciation by leaving me tips. It’s paying off. I haven’t touched any of my tip money so far, and I’m at $169 (with an accumulated interest of $0.01. Which makes me laugh. So hard). I have $30 sitting on my dresser waiting to go in the bank, so I’ll be right around $200 in there pretty soon, plus all of my change saved up. I’m getting that new computer soon. I think my goal is to get close to $500. I still have my income tax left to do, too.

Via Unsplash

Things are going to be okay. I know they will. I’m feeling so much more optimistic about things. This week I want to get myself back into the groove of things. Work is going to wipe me out, sure, but I can get a start on something. Like I said, I want to be more consistent with posts again, and I have my ipsy and Birchbox posts I want to get out this week. I’ve had a couple of awards I’ve been nominated for that I want to get around to (finally). And I want to try to start getting myself in the habit of doing some form of yoga for 10-15 minutes in the morning before work. Just to get something started where I’m stretching and relaxing myself. I think it’ll help, and I’ve had a few people on here tell me that yoga does wonders and I didn’t buy a yoga mat for it to just sit rolled up in a corner.

I’ve spent a lot of time playing Diablo 2, but the first effects are wearing off for me, and while I’m still enjoying it, I’m over that nostalgia feel that had me playing it for 6 hours the other night. So I’m playing it every other night for a couple of hours. Progress. We’re getting there.

Via Unsplash

I’m going to wrap this entry up now, but stay tuned! And thanks for everyone for sticking around during my little off period. My views drastically fell this month, and I’m going to work hard to get back to where I was before I fell into the funk. I may try to post every other day, or maybe about 3 or 4 times a week. Maybe everyday if I feel like writing.

For March, I think I’m going to skip the blog challenge, and just have some ideas set off to the side for me to go through when I feel ready to write. Things are going to be a little different, but I’ll get there again. I want to update some of the graphics I’ve been using, too, and start fresh again.

9:25 AM

10 thoughts on “Journal Entry (#26)”

  1. Hi Laken,
    So happy to hear the positivity in your posts again. ♡ I’m glad you got your period now & that you’ve been feeling better because of it. And how exciting that you’ve got a date set to see Ray again! I know it’s a cliché thing to say but, love isn’t usually a maybe thing… you’ll know when you love him. Distance is making it harder for your relationship to grow but I really think you’ll get there. Just make sure you’re taking all the steps to reach your happiness. 🙂 Oh & hope you get the laptop soon!!! You’re doing so good with the saving! ♡

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Hunida 💜☺️ I’m happy I got it, too. Aside from work wearing me out it really has brought me back around. And right? I can’t wait to see him. And you’re right, I think it’s hard for me, too, because I’ve never really been in love before, and the distance definitely makes it a lot harder. And thank you! I hope so, too (: I’m proud of myself for what I’ve saved so far haha


  2. My views have been less this month too, so I guess people are just more busy this month? I don’t know. lol It’s interesting how my views will skyrocket one month and be terrible the next.

    Wow, you skipped a whole month, but at least your period finally came. I’ve never skipped a month before, but I’m of course I’ve been on BC pills the last 11 years, so they keep me regulated.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahh maybe so! Haha it really is interesting because I’ve noticed that, too. February was actually starting off great for me until I stopped posting as much.

      I’m just relieved it finally came. I’m not on birth control, and I have had the occasional issue in the past where it would be really late or I would spot instead of getting my period. But I think this is the first time I can remember it skipping a whole month. Birth control definitely helps you not worry about it as much haha.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hormones can really take you all over the place! I’ve noticed I’ve been feeling a bit meh this week and then thought maybe cause I’m due for my period next week. I’m glad you’re feeling better and that you’ll get to spend time with ray and hopefully you guys will get to talk! It’s also really cool you’ve gotten to save more! I definitely also splurged last year haha and am hoping to save more this year and only buy things that I really need 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They honestly really can! And not getting your period is just miserable because there’s no outlet or reset lol. But thank you so much ☺️ I hope so, too! Haha I’m glad I’m not alone in splurging! I hope we both have better luck focusing on what we need this year 💜

      Liked by 1 person

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