February 7, 2018
Can this weather stop? First, it snows. All night. So right when you think the snow is going to finally melt, we just get it all back. And then, not only does it have to snow more, it rains on top of it. So everything becomes icy and slippy. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of Winter. I’m sick of being sick. Let’s move into Spring already please. Except Spring means allergies…
On the plus side, the antibiotics are definitely starting to work. I haven’t felt the urge to blow my nose every 5 minutes like I used to. It’s still often, but it’s giving my nose time to recover. So, progress! And only 6 more days of no drinking. Can I do this? I have this weekend off and I had been looking forward to going out until then. How else can I enjoy the weekend? I don’t mean to sound like drinking makes everything better, but it’s hard to go out to the bar with friends and not drink. And everyone works during the day. There’s hardly anything to do in this town aside from drink.
On the downside, my period still hasn’t come. 12 days late. If I don’t get one this month I’ll really start freaking out. And I could try taking a test but I really don’t believe I’m pregnant. But it also makes me really nervous. So I really need it to just show up. I don’t want to have to go to the doctor’s. I really don’t.
It’s funny, how even when something is wrong with us, we hate going to the doctor’s office and dealing with it the proper way. So we will just wait and see, and possibly make things worse. Why do we do this to ourselves? I guess it’s just scary to think that it could actually be something that requires us to get checked out. What if it were something we really didn’t want to find out?
Ray’s been so busy with his classes and studying, that even though we talk everyday, it just gets hard. Distance sucks, and when your partner is so busy they’re wrapped up in other things, it’s even worse. I don’t know what else I can really do here other than wait for his load to lighten up. I really want to see him, and it sucks that I highly doubt I’ll see him this month. It just doesn’t feel like it’s in the cards.
I’ve been all over the place lately (what else is new?), I need to get myself grounded and start focusing on what I’m actually doing with my life. That’s what this month is supposed to be about actually. Refocusing, getting my motivation back. Getting back to focusing on my goals and what I need to do to get to the next step.
So here’s to revamping and restarting!