Journal Entry (#13)

January 3, 2018
9:21 AM

It feels weird typing out January instead of December. Time is just flying on right by. That’s okay, it’ll be another month before I get to see Ray, so the time can just fly. Plus I just want Winter to end. I woke up this morning and it said the temperature was -3 outside. Just go away.

Via Unsplash

I just want to flashback to this weekend. It sucks, we got so much snow all day on Saturday that it pushed mine and Ray’s plans back. Pretty sure they said we weren’t supposed to get all that snow. They’re never right about the weather. They either over predict it or under predict it. Never are they right. Welcome to Western PA. I wish I lived somewhere warmer.

That’s the thing, too. I do actually love watching the snow as it lays, and it can be really beautiful! But it’s so cold, and from my experience, all it does is ruins plans. When my time with Ray is already so short, losing a whole night just sucks.

So. Much. Snow.

He wound up picking me up Sunday afternoon, around 2-ish. He wanted to be safe when it came to the roads, and I am glad he didn’t risk the drive Saturday. It’s just not worth it, if he would’ve had an accident I would’ve felt like shit and I wouldn’t want him to get hurt. We got back to his place sometime around 4-ish, and caught the tail end of the Steeler’s game. I don’t really watch sports, but I don’t really mind watching them with him. It was actually semi entertaining. Ray said he didn’t really care about the game, he was just interested to see how the Browns would do. They had a winless season, and then they lost again. There was a part where this one guy missed the ball and then he got tackled, and you see this Steeler’s player offering him a hand and he just looked so sad. Like I said, mildly entertaining even for someone who doesn’t watch sports.

His windshield is dirty, but you can start to see the city in the background.

It was a nice and lazy afternoon after that, and we just spent time together. I broke out my Wii U, and we played some Super Smash Bros (of course). Oh! He did get me something for Christmas. I’m learning something about Ray, I don’t think he’s good with his words. We kind of just go with things, we don’t really talk about it. When we got back to his room, he gave me this small (really wrapped – he did say he wasn’t the best wrapper, it made me laugh), gift, and it turned out to be a candle. Which also makes me laugh, because I’m pretty sure he said he always buys his mom candles because he’s not good with gifts. He probably doesn’t remember that conversation, but I do. It was still cute though. And then he got me this 4 pack of this Big Black Voodoo Daddy Imperial Stout. I tried it last night – so good! It’s 12% though. He knows I’ve been trying a lot of stouts and IPA’s recently, so that actually made me happy. I’ve never seen this brewery up where I live (it’s called like Voodoo Brewery, it’s local), and I remember he told me he really liked this brewery, too.

So yeah, it wasn’t a whole lot, and I’m glad I didn’t go too overboard with gifts for him, but it was still really nice. I still need to find a way to talk to him about what we really are though. We’re unofficially this official couple now, words haven’t been spoken, but I’m pretty sure he’s my boyfriend. It’s just kind of overdue now for that conversation, but we both apparently suck at bringing it up. I’ve been wanting to talk to him in person about it, but I feel like I may be better off texting him the question. I never feel like I have enough time when we’re together, and then the moment passes. My mom keeps asking if we’re official yet, and I’m like, I dunno. It’s been over 7 months now. It feels real though.

7 months of being together, and while I love spending time with him, and I do cherish every second we’re together, I do wonder a lot. I feel like he really does care about me, I can see it in the way he looks at me, I think I do make him happy, too. But we’ve never talked about how serious things are. He said on our first date that he wanted to make this work, but we never talked much more about it. I don’t know his history, his past relationships – he also doesn’t know mine. It’s like this big pile of stuff we’ve never ventured into. And it’s not that I need to know, but it’s weird he’s never even mentioned a past relationship. Or maybe it’s just me. It’s not that big of an issue, just something I think about. He’s the most serious relationship I’ve ever had, I guess I just really want to know more about him. I met his brother and sister, he’s met my mom, but I’ve never met his parents. I know it’s hard with us only seeing each other once a month though.

Via Unsplash

Anyways, Sunday night we went out to eat at this Mexican place. We ordered some margaritas, and they had some 2 for $40 dinner meal that we went with. He ordered some nachos, which took a really long time to come out. When they came out, we realized why: they burnt them. The bartender even asked us how they were, like he didn’t carry them out or anything. Some of the chips were super burnt, they were black. Others tasted like burnt popcorn. Kind of took away from it. I would’ve taken pictures if the place wasn’t so darkly dimmed.

I’ve mentioned before – I’m really basic. I don’t like veggies, so I’m that weird person that orders a quesadilla, with just chicken and cheese. And then Ray gets this big enchilada with everything. And it was good! I just couldn’t finish it. Plus we were working on our second margarita – they had a seasonal apple cider flavor we both tried out. And took our desert (hazelnut filled churros) to go.

The lighting was so bad, but I did try to get a picture of one of the margaritas

We went back to his place and played some Mario Odyssey on the Switch. He beat the game so he’s just looking to find all of the moons in the game he hasn’t found yet.  I found like 20 of them – without his help. He was getting sidetracked at this point, I think he was a little drunk. At some point we took this shot of gin, and we were drinking Smirnoff Ice. When it got closer to midnight, we took an uber to this bar, and stayed there until the ball dropped. It was fun! I got my first official kiss at midnight. But we didn’t know anyone so it felt pointless to stick around. We actually ubered back and went to bed.

Fuck it, here’s the only picture I got of us this weekend. Isn’t he so cute?

Monday brought us into the new year, and we stayed in bed until close to noon. Eventually I got up to get a shower, and Ray tried to figure out what places would be open for food. We wound up going to Denny’s for breakfast (okay, I guess it was basically brunch at that point). It was a good choice, even though we had to wait about 15-20 minutes for a table. After Denny’s, he had to do some shopping at Wal-Mart, so we went to do that. By the time we got all done with that, it was getting late, around 4ish, and we headed back to his apartment to enjoy what little time we had left together. We played some more Smash Bros, and just enjoyed each other. It was all over so fast. When it hit 6, he told me he should probably take me back. It always makes me so sad to leave. I don’t want to leave.

When he dropped me off, I kept kissing him goodbye, and then I said I guess I should go, and he said he’d help me with my bags. My mom invited him in, and he got to endure her talking for the next 10 minutes or so. If he hadn’t of left his car running, she’d of probably made him stay a little longer. I kind of felt bad he got stuck being the nice guy and listening to my mother. Eventually, he did have to leave though, and I think he felt awkward trying to give me a kiss goodbye in front of her, so I waited until he was around the corner and he kissed me goodbye.

Again, it’s always so short with him! I really hope this is something I can work on changing this year. I want to spend so much more time with him, because it just never feels long enough. And this time it was really short.

Via Unsplash

Unfortunately, I’m going back to work today, and I need to go get myself ready. These frigid temperatures make me want to stay home. Sucks.

9:51 AM

January Writing Challenge #3

19 thoughts on “Journal Entry (#13)”

  1. Awww
    First Happy New Year Laken.
    Secondly, you guys are so cute together. God Bless you both ❤️❤️
    You are gorgeous Btw. 😍😍
    This journal made me miss my moments spent with him. Wow.
    Best of luck 😘😘

    Liked by 1 person

  2. They’re never right about the weather here in Maryland either. Especially when it comes to snow. I personally hate when they say we’re going to get a big snow storm (and I’m thinking it’ll get me out of work), and then we get like an inch. lol

    7 months is a long time to share with someone and not know if you’re official or not. You should definitely have the conversation with him. You don’t want to be strung along.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s exactly what happens here, too lol. These meteorologists need to get their shit together. The same can be said for the opposite – they say we’ll only get a little snow and then we get a blizzard 🙈

      And you’re right. I don’t believe he’s stringing me along, but it’s overdue, and we do need to talk about where this is going.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh my gosh, that’s so funny that he bought you a candle and probably forgot that he mentioned to you that’s what he gets when he doesn’t know what to get but he proved that he knew you by the beer! 💗
    That’s interesting that you don’t about any of his past relationships. Do you see any old pics on his Facebook? Lol. Maybe you’re his first real girlfriend and he has no idea how to talk about that with you.
    I was so excited to finally see a pic of him, hehe, you two are so so adorable together!!! 💗
    An apple cider margarita sounds yummy! I am so happy for you that you got your first New Year’s kiss, yay!!!
    I hope you two will find a way to see each other more often and I don’t think it would be harmful if you texted him and asked about a label? Like be playful and text him like “when are we gonna make this thing FB official” or something?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha right? When he pulled out the beer I was like, awww he does know me 💜 and he tried, and that’s really all I was hoping for. I don’t need anything really fancy, especially since we haven’t really established labels. So I take it as a good sign ☺️
      The same can be said for me, too. We haven’t discussed his past relationships or mine. And oh trust me, I’ve creeped on his Facebook and can’t find anything related to a past girlfriend lol. So I really don’t know! Maybe I am, I can’t say anything because he’s my first real boyfriend. Maybe that’s why we’re both so awkwardly fitting for each other? Haha. And awww thanks! I think he’s adorable, he has the best smile ☺️
      And ohh it was yummy! And I was stoked to have that, too. I can cross that one off my bucket list 😂
      I’m hoping we can figure it out soon. I know if I get my license it’ll help things so much. So right now we just need time. And you’re right, I don’t have to make it a super big deal – I don’t want to anyways lol. But I do want to know what he sees us as lol. I won’t know until I ask!


      1. Yeah, it’s the thought that counts, right? 🙂
        Aw, that’s so sweet that you are prob both each others first real relationship…you guys should talk about labels soon if it’s bothering you! You’re right, you’ll never know unless you ask. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Exactly (: I’m happy that he made an effort.
        And it actually really would make a lot of sense, and it would be really sweet. But again, not sure! I definitely want to ask him soon, I guess I’m just kind of trying to wait until he’s not at work or hanging out with friends lol. Which is like never so maybe I should just suck it up and ask 😂

        Liked by 1 person

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