Past Journal Entries (1)

Here’s to taking a trip down memory lane. I located a bunch of random journals (actually, half are just in notebooks), and decided to share some of my entries. I was actually inspired by a post that Hunida made a little while ago. While hers were blog posts, mine are from private hand-written. Never done something like this before, and probably won’t share the full posts (most are quite long, if you haven’t noticed how I write most of my journal entries). However, if you guys react well to this post, I may start taking a frequent trip down memory lane and sharing past entries I’ve written – fully.

A lot of these entries are varied – I found a journal from when I was like 10 or 11, those entries are very short and kind of make me laugh. Then I have entries from high school, some from college, and some within the last year or so. Without further ado, here’s to jumping down that rabbit hole:

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

“Today is starting off as any other day. I’ve changed a lot through the days. My favorite thing to do ain’t play my gameboy, it’s reading. I’ve read so much since the last time I wrote in here. Well have to make my bed and get dressed.”

Wednesday, December 3, 2003

“Today me and my friend Steven owe Miss. H recess when we don’t know why. She said she told us to stay away from the area we were in. I don’e ever recall her telling us that. I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Well gotta eat. BYE”

Thursday, December 11, 2003

“Today is a sad day for me. My friend Brittany M has the flu and I’m losing one of the best student teacher in the world, Miss H. I’m too sad to write anymore.”

[I still find it hilarious that I jump from hating her and then thinking she’s so great. Oh 10 year old me.]

Friday, February 20, 2004

“Today when i came home from school, my mom told me I had to stop talking to Sara. It felt awful. I forgot that she always tells her mom EVERYTHING. I forgot that. I think I told her too much. Well one of my songs is on so bye.”

Saturday, June 14, 2008

“First off, it’s 2:19 in the morning and I’m writing because I’m a little pissed off at the moment. Right now, I’m extremely ticked off at the rain, cuz it’s not raining and the water is dripping onto the ground (which I can hear) repeatedly and it’s aggravating me to death. I’m also a little ticked because my mom spends at least 10 hours (if not more) on the computer. And she’s almost always is talking to Kevin. Truthfully, the reason I don’t really care for Kevin is because he spends so much damned time with my mom….”

Saturday, June 21, 2008

“Well it’s 9:08 p.m., and it’s also been a week since I’ve wrote in here. Well, I hate my life. Boring, stuck at home, and can’t expect anyone to call me. No, I gotta call them. (grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…) I hate biting my tongue (especially in front of mom). She rarely ever wants to listen to me… and I’ve learned I can’t depend on her to be open to listen to me. The only one she listens to is Kevin… Well, I’ve also made a decision today….”

Saturday August 23, 2008

“It’s 10:46 p.m. Ross and I are over. IDK, about a week and a half ago I realized that I didn’t like Ross like that anymore. I really like Lance, and you know what, he was going to ask me out the ame day I decided to go out with Ross, but he had other things to do that day so he couldn’t get on. But now me and Ross are over, and Ross is upset… He said he doesn’t know if we can remain friends. I feel bad. We lasted 2 weeks (more than him and Ciara, they lasted a week). But IDK, I really really like Lance and have from day 1. But anywayz, I don’t feel like writing much. I had orientation yesterday, and first day of school and my birthday.”

[Ohh, I totally forgot about my online flings LOL.]

Saturday, January 24, 2009

“It’s 5:21 p.m. and I’m sitting in my room watching A Cinderella Story on ABC Family. Love this movie. Newayz… Thursday afternoon during Gym, I fainted. I had been on one of the exercise bikes in the fitness room for 11 minutes. When I got off and went with everyone else for the next instructions, I started to feel nauseated. I thought it would just pass over, so I kept quiet. Next thing I know, everything went black. When I woke, everything was kinda disoriented. (I just had a phone call from Chandra, she was worried, I’m glad she called though). Everyone was looking at me, it was kinda scary. But I wound up getting a big bump on my head (though the floor was supposed to be spongy)…..”

February 21, 2009

“Well… It’s official… I absolutely hate my life. No joke. It’s 7:22 p.m. Guess what? My clay project (which Brandon accidentally smashed) never got finished and it came back to haunt me. A grade slip came in the mail. I have 75% in the class. So, as natural, my mom flipped and took my CD player and CDs. Again. She asked me why and as per usual, I had no real reason. I want to scream. I didn’t cry or anything, I just felt hurt. That’s all I feel anymore. Is pain, in my heart. I keep my mouth shut and things backfire. I don’t tell mom the full truth or how I really feel, and she makes her own assumptions. Like with me and Lauren working on testing the wood for the bridge for Science Olympiad. Which I never told her about yet. When Lauren called and my mom asked me why, I told her the truth about how we needed to get together that weekend to test the wood. She asked me if I was making it up and we were actually going to do something else. I asked her if she really thought I was like that. She replied with, “if you wanted to get out of the house bad enough.” Oh My God! That hurt. That my mom thinks that of me….”

Friday, March 12, 2010

“It’s 11:40 p.m. As to be the usual in here, it’s been months since I wrote in here. Mike isn’t even mentioned because I met him after my last entry. Not like it matters, he turned out to be a total asshole anyway. Funny how those things work out. Anyways, I’m really tired, haha. It’s crazy. For almost 5 months now I’ve liked Ben. He’s an idiot, kind of obnoxious, totally not the kind of guy you could imagine me with, but I really like him. I just wish he liked me that way. At least he considers us friends (: But I’ll discuss him more later. Right now, my bed is calling me for sleep, haha. So write back when I can. 11:46 p.m.”

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

“Well I said I’d write, so I will write a little more tonight. It’s 9:52 p.m. My this school year is already going by so fast, I’m finding it hard to keep up. I’m just glad I’m doing good this year grade wise. Still can’t believe it’s Senior Year already. I don’t know what I’m going to do about colleges yet. I’m going to be panicking soon. *sigh* my fault. Anyways, I wanted to write about Ben. Haha. Just to write about how I rarely get to speak to him anymore. I’m going to tech this year and he’s only sat with me twice on the tech bus 😦 I miss my old locker, miss being next to his, seeing him & being able to talk to him everyday. It’s officially been a year since I’ve started liking him. He’s the only guy I want to think about anymore. Anyways I’m officially extremely tired so I’ll write more later! Bye! 10:00 p.m.”

January 20, 2012

“Today I got this journal from Lauren! She got me this, a pack of pencils and a pair of jeans she picked up in Canada! The three of us were supposed to hangout today, but Noor couldn’t go so it was just me & Lauren. We went ice-skating – and lucked out on not only getting in for FREE but on being the only ones to skate for over an hour! I fell a few times and had to use a walker because of the fact I’ve never gone skating before. Lauren said I didn’t do too bad for my first time. After skating we finally picked up the DVDs for the graduation & Senior Class Trip. And then we just hungout at the mall until she had to pick up her paycheck. I filled out an application for Burger King as well. Lauren had also mentioned going to California in April! It’d be awesome if I can go! And I really hope Noor is serious about Puerto  Rico!”

[Lauren and Noor went to Puerto Rico, I tried so hard to go, and my mom backed out from letting me at the last minute. I was so upset over that.]

August 29, 2012

“It’s late so I’m making this short (technically it’s “early”). I’ve had my first two days of college and I can’t believe today is my third! I’m going to write more later. All I can think about are those pretty blue eyes and how he’s in my second art class. The one thing I asked for at orientation was for him to be in one of my classes. And then I found out he was an undecided art major. We’ve never spoken but I can’t believe he’s in my class! I hope we can be friends. Because if not then fate is cruel and a tease. I highly doubt he remembers I was there at orientation. But I recognized him the moment he walked in the hallway. Daniel.”

[In case you’re wondering, I barely even remember this guy, so no, never went anywhere!]

March 24, 2013

“Wow, I’m terrible with updates, it’s been months yet again. Second semester has started and been in session since January 28th. I hate that spring break is ending already, I kind of don’t want to go back. First semester was better. It always surprises me how much happens in between my journal updates. there’s so many I need to start keeping track of. Like new. Adam… he’s the biggest and most important update. But, it’s also mixed with Lauren. Adam and I first talked this past summer in July (I think). I remember because he had issues getting a hold of Lauren and asked me to pass on the message. He always came off as a good guy to me. When Lauren first started talking about him, I think part of me liked him from that moment….”

April 22, 2013

“Sometimes I can’t help but wonder. About everything. Myself, the world, people in general. I feel so stupid and naive these days. I never should have let myself be so trusting in Adam. I’m an idiot. I truly thought he cared about me. I thought things would keep progressing with us. That somehow we’d make it work despite the distance. I’m so embarrassed that I sent him those pictures. What if I was even more wrong to trust him with them?……”

Thursday, January 2, 2014

“I’m so happy the holidays are over and it’s 2014! Here’s to new beginnings and to change. I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and I want this to be my year. I need to stop worrying about everyone else and start focusing on me and my needs. I need to do what makes me happy. I’ve made some decisions, and I’m trying to stick with them. The first, no surprise, is Adam. Lauren telling me all this crap about him calling and texting her all the time saying he’s still in love with her. I just… I can’t! I don’t need this drama. He denies it, so one of them is lying. But the last thing I want is for this to get in the middle of my friendship. So I’ve decided to back off from Adam….”

Okay, so I didn’t even hit the recent entries. So I tacked on a “part one” to this post, and I’ll come back with a part two of more recent entries. Do you guys enjoy reading some of these? If so, I may even just have a Throwback post every now and then with these entries. Let me know!

December Writing Challenge #12

9 thoughts on “Past Journal Entries (1)”

  1. Thanks for the shout out!! So happy to have inspired you, I loved reading this post! 💗
    The diary you had in the first picture is just too cute! 😍 I can’t believe you have journals from so far back–I really wish I would’ve kept all mine!
    It was cute to read about your little crushes & how much you love your mom. So sweet. 💗
    Can’t wait to read Part 2 & more if you decide to do more posts like this! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re welcome ☺️
      I barely remember when I got that diary, but reading my childhood entries makes me laugh – I was so dramatic lol. I found it sometime when we went through boxes. Still amazes me I have it!
      I’ll probably make another part, it’s fun going down memory lane and realizing how things have changed so much!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hahah, kids are so dramatic! I laughed because you liked the boy your friend liked. When we were young there are only so many people to like, we all end up with each other’s exes LOL.
        Any and all of my physical journals are missing except for maybe one I think I saw laying around somewhere…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahah they really are 😂 but so innocent, too. And right? Such a small world hahah. My mom was against me even dating until high school, I used to get so upset because I liked these dumb boys 😂 she was right though – to an extent.
        And aww that sucks! It’d be cool if some of them showed up!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Hahah yeah my parents were the same way but once they split up, all of their rules were pretty much diminished, too. Relationships are so pointless as kids, she was def right lol.
        Yeah they probably won’t show up, they’re prob all in the trash! 😦

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Ahh yeah that makes sense! I was always with my mom so her rules didn’t really let up until high school, and even then she was strict. And relationships are really dumb as kids 😂 you’re so innocent that young that going out is just hanging out more lol.
        And awww!

        Liked by 1 person

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