Here’s a topic I’ve brushed a bit here and there (I talk about a couple of my experiences here and here). But I wanted to sort of make a post to go into more of my experiences I’ve had with the app. I don’t remember every single interaction I’ve had with people off of here – I had a few messages saved before, but I deleted most of them. Which is a shame now, because they would’ve been funny to share.
We’re in this day and age where it’s easier for us to connect online versus in person at times. It sucks honestly. But at the same time, for those of us who are on the introverted side, it makes things a little easier to at least try to talk to new people.
I downloaded the Tinder app sometime around May of 2015. I went through quite a dry spell, and I also had a lot of personal things going on. I was finishing up my Sophomore year of college, and I said, “fuck it,” and I downloaded the Tinder app. Earlier that year, I had dabbled with OkCupid, and while I liked certain aspects about the app (there’s a questionnaire that helps you match with people with similar interests), it lacked the people using it, and the ones who did use it, well, they were either too far away or they were on the weirder side.
Tinder made me nervous because I had heard the whole thing about it being mostly a hookup site – but at that point, I felt even a hookup would be better than nothing. I was getting over things, and I was ready to talk to guys and just see if anything would come from it. The other part that made me nervous was seeing people I knew on the app – I didn’t really want to broadcast my use of the app. I downloaded the app with little expectations, though, and set up my profile, added my photos and a short bio (which I’ve always been awful at), and started swiping.
Let’s just say, I had a mixed reception. I had quite a few of these types of responses (all screenshots are mine, yes, I do have a few saved):
If anything, Tinder offered me quite a few entertaining and head scratching matches. I deleted some of the best ones (or I just didn’t screenshot those). But this should give you an idea of what to expect if you ever download the app. I mean, originality, some of them do have it at least, right?
Moving on, though, the first real guy I ever talked to off the app, let’s call him W. He wasn’t the first guy, but he was the first real guy that I kept talking to on a regular. We actually talked a lot, and almost met up a couple of times – to hook up. I thought he was so cute, and we snapped on Snapchat all the time. To narrow this story down, though, we went through periods of not talking – he just stopped talking to me, and then he’d text me again.
Eventually, later on that year, we did hookup. We hung out a few times, went to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens in theaters, and played drunk Rock Band at his apartment together. I had a lot of fun with this guy, but then we hooked up (we didn’t have sex, but we did do other things), and then… he stopped talking to me. Again. I didn’t want to bug him, but I’d text him a few times and we’d talk, and the one day I asked when we could hang out again, and he told me he had a girlfriend. Basically, he liked me but not enough to make me his girlfriend.
We went months without talking again – fast forward to that summer. He and his girlfriend broke up, we matched on Tinder again, and we started talking again. Fast forward again to New Year’s Eve, we’d been talking for awhile at that point (if you think about the fact we’d known each other over a year at that point), and… he came over to my house before work, when I was by myself, and… we finally did it. The big thing. Yep, that happened. It was bound to with our chemistry, but I knew even then nothing would come from it. We sort of became those friends that talked to each other about our hookups and hooked up with each other.
The funny part is, shortly after I got with Ray, he hit me up again, and when I told him I was seeing Ray, he told me congratulations and he was happy for me, but he didn’t know what we could keep talking about. I guess he was going to ask me if I wanted to spend a week up there in Harrisburg with him. Because he was bored. I’m the girl he’d hit up when he had no one else around.
My lesson from him? I care about him, still, but not in that way. I was crazy about this guy early on – he kind of looks like a cuter Shia Lebouf (before he went crazy), and we just had a lot in common. But when I realized he just didn’t see me that way, it hurt, and I got over it. Just because we had sex doesn’t mean anything – we used each other. It was mutual. Out of some of the guys I’ve met off this app, he was on the more decent side. At least he didn’t lie to me.
The first real guy I dated was Nate. I’m using his name, because I already used it in one of the posts I mentioned up at the top. I started talking to him in August of 2015. Since I already sort of talked about him in My Awkward Dating Experiences Part 1, I’m not going to go much more into detail about it.
I really liked this guy, in a lot of ways I count him as my real first. When he and I started dating, he took me out on dates, he even modeled for me for my first photography shoot that I had to do for a project. He was laid back, used to be shy like I used to be – we had a lot in common. He didn’t even try to have sex with me until our 4th or 5th date. And after we did, a month or so into it, he told me that he wasn’t looking for a serious relationship – but he wanted to do relationship things. Me, at the time, was a bit set back by that, but I really did like spending time with him, and I wasn’t sure what I was looking for. So I kept going with it. Something was better than nothing.
Eventually, the relationship turned into me always coming over, we’d watch Netflix and have sex, and then… nothing. We stopped doing anything else. We never even went out together. He had invited me to a party once, early on, but I remember it had been rainy, and I was really weird with guys and going out and my mother. So I stayed in. Let me tell you, I’ve come a long ways in the two years since then. But it’s probably good I didn’t go, nothing ever came from this guy. And eventually, I hooked up with W, and ended things with Nate. Then nothing went anywhere with W, and I just got so lonely and felt awful. That’s another story.
I actually saw Nate earlier this year, back in March, before I even met Ray. Nate came in to buy a 6 pack where I work, and I was very taken aback. I mean, I hadn’t seen him in well over a year, and he did look good. And I was so lonely. He offered to wait for me to get off work so we could hang out, and I told him I needed to go home and get changed. I actually didn’t hear back from him awhile after I got home, so I met up with some other friends – ironically at the same bar Nate was at. And I found him and talked to him for a bit. He gave me a hug and told me I looked great (have I mentioned lately how I’ve lost like 20 pounds? I went through a period where I gained some weight). I was so close to staying with him that night, I was even at that place where I wanted something to happen, I felt a spark with him again, I know he was interested that night. But… I left with the friend I came with that night.
Afterwards, I talked to him over Facebook for awhile, and that faded eventually. I met Ray, and the last time I heard from Nate was my birthday. He saw on Snapchat I was in Pittsburgh, and he said if I went out he’d buy me a drink. I just thought how ironic it was.
I’m realizing, as I’m writing this post, that I’m way too detailed to keep this post going as one whole thing. So, I think I may split this into a few different parts. I’ve talked about a few experiences already, but I haven’t talked about some of the shittier, awful ones, and I haven’t talked about some of the better, funnier ones.
Like the story behind this guy:
This was last year around Christmas (obviously by the last message). I had been talking to this guy who lived about a 30 minute drive away, and while it started off fine, he started to get weird and clingy. Like, if this message tells you anything at all, the guy could not get the hint I wasn’t interested. It was actually a little disturbing. Eventually, I stopped getting texts from him. Or I blocked him. I can’t remember honestly.
Have you ever used a dating app? What was your experience like?
December Writing Challenge #2