Something I Regret…

I regret the fact that I’m still in this town.
I never left,
I wanted to,
But I never left.

I regret not leaving after college,
for not doing anything with my degree due to circumstance,
for working a job that has zero to do with what I love.

I regret not keeping in touch with past friends.
I miss talking to them,
but it feels so pointless,
when it’s one sided.

I regret quite a few things,
how I lost my virginity,
how I let myself succumb to my own form of depression at one point,
how I was so down in the dumps I just didn’t care about myself.
It’s why I did it – I wanted to feel something that would make me feel alive.
At least I didn’t have a connection to drugs or alcohol at that time,
I suppose.
I regret it because it made it worse, not better.
I should’ve waited.

I don’t want to live with regret,
life is too short.
All of these things that I regret,
they’ve still made me who I am as a person.

The place I work at,
the people I interact with daily,
they have helped shaped me.

Living in this town,
it’s taught me what I don’t want in life,
how I want to be anywhere but here.
There is so much out there,
why do we limit ourselves?

Why do we let ourselves get so stuck in a situation?
Why don’t we act on it,
do something about it?
Are we truly that afraid to accept the changes?
The influences someone else has over you,
it’s hard to break.
Expectations become a reality,
but I’m not living up to mine.
So why,
Why do I get stuck living with regret?
I don’t want to.

I’m finding my motivation from these regrets,
I want to change.
I want to get out of here,
I want to do something with my life.
I’m worth so much more than this,
I’m done limiting myself.

November Writing Challenge #25

**This is my 200th post on this blog

14 thoughts on “Something I Regret…”

  1. I hope we can alleviate your shame which compounds it. I’ve made a few choices I still think are horrible. I’m recovered from the shame over them. Remember, what you believe you become. You can take that to the bank. I just made a post of my greret. Lol. Perhaps it will help you to not feel so alone, because you are not. We all make mistakes. Even big ones. Like sinking the Titanic, or, heck, people not as scrupulous or devoted to love as I am, make mistakes all the time and don’t care as much as I did or do. That’s a curse and blessing of empathy -the desire to love and serve. We can do this. We can. It’s a marathon and we’re all with you.

    Liked by 1 person

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