Where do I even start with this one? There are a few changes I need to make, regarding my self and my life.
I need to change my scenery. Work is getting tiring, a lot of the same old with new changes I don’t particularly like. Yet, the bank still has never called me back, and until I get my license, opportunities are slim for something better. So, I’m thinking of asking to serve next door a few days a week. I know I would make decent tips, and I already know the menu. It’s mainly just learning the specials. So we will see. It’s something I’m just considering right now.
I need to change my routine. I’ve been so blah about everything lately. A lot of it has to do with the weather. The colder it gets, the less I want to motivate. Yet, there’s so much I need to get done before the holidays get here. And there’s also photography I want to find time to go back to focus on. My work schedule still hasn’t really gone back to “normal,” and it’s getting darker outside a lot faster now. If I leave work at 6, it’s dark by 7. Which sucks.
I need change in general. To pull me out of this funk I’m starting to fall into. In a lot of ways, going away with Ray next weekend is going to help me, I’m sure of it. I haven’t seen him in a little more than a month and I think that’s part of my funk right there. That, and my lack of friends up here. I get tired of spending a lot of time alone. And in other instances, all I want is to be alone.
My days off have been helping my mom around the house – finally! We have so much left to still do, too, it’s a headache. And then yesterday, my mom’s boyfriend was cleaning out the fridge. Long story short, it’s in the dining room and we were going to move it to the kitchen (the one that was there with the house went bad). So my mom’s dumb ass boyfriend (mind you, he drank two six packs, and he becomes especially lazy when he drinks. Yet he swears he gets more done…) brought in the air compressor and used it on the fridge INSIDE the house. Luckily, I was at work. But my mom was there and she freaked the fuck out. Because why would you do that? Why? Why? Common sense goes a long way. Because you know what happened? Dust went EVERYWHERE. All through the kitchen and dining room, making my mom’s job even harder. Yes, it needed cleaned anyways, but not to that extent right now. What a fucking idiot.
There’s another change right there that needs to happen. My mom is finally getting her head together, and she knows she can do better without this guy. He’s not helping that much. He smokes a lot, and he drinks a lot. And when he drinks, he smokes even more. The amount of money he wastes along in that shit is disgusting. And then to top it off, he’ll want to eat everything when he does this, so there’s even more money. But yet, he bitches that the electric bill is behind. I have no sympathy to help him more than necessary. Part of the reason I started drinking was to cope with things at home, and even then, I don’t sit there and drink an entire six pack in one sitting. I drink one or two beers to take the edge off and that’s it. It’s called balance, something he doesn’t understand. Alcoholics normally don’t.
My mom and I could get along fine without him. But she does need to get back to work first. She talked about getting into a gym or something to start working out. And I’m all for that! But it requires money and dedication, so we’ll see. She needs something to redirect her focus on. I’m just glad she’s finally getting her shit together. Or I’m hoping she follows her own words for once. Because we need to help each other, not bring each other down. And I could care less what her boyfriend thinks. He needs to work on bettering himself before he can earn that kind of respect.
October Writing Challenge #19
It’s funny how after I wrote this I got rushed to get ready for work by my mother and then yelled at for 5 minutes for not being ready because she needed the bathroom right at that moment. Then I got told how lazy I am and that all I do is sit on my ass (I don’t work almost 40 hours a week [sometimes over 40] or anything). Thanks mom, I just gave you credit for doing something and now you just want to run me down, again, because things don’t get done the fucking second you say it needs done. I’m sorry that I get a shower, then drink a cup of coffee, and then throw my contacts in and brush my teeth. Sorry for wanting to drink coffee first before brushing my teeth, I’m the one working, but my schedule still runs on yours because your the one who’s technically renting the house? Remind me again, where you would be right now if I just left. Please, remind me. Because you’d be fucked if I left and you know it. This is the biggest thing that needs to change. I don’t care if she’s menopausal or not. There’s no need to cut someone down because you’re not happy. There’s been plenty of instances I’ve needed that bathroom and someone was in there. I don’t pound on the door telling them they need to hurry the fuck up. I wait. There’s no need to be a fucking bitch about it. God. I love her but I hate how controlling she is. I’m not your fucking puppet.
End of mini rant.