I’m honestly at the place anymore I can’t stand going in to do my job. Between the amount of drama that seems to always be going on (my other coworker, Steve, who was my other cashier, got himself fired), and the fact that I just don’t like this kind of work, I’m ready for a change. I mentioned Steve got himself fired – now I’m looking at 45 hours this week to pick up on those lost hours. Yes, I really want the money and I will work it, but I really hate the idea of spending majority of my week in that store. It’s suffocating.
Customer service is terrible, and I hate working with the public anymore. There are some people I enjoy seeing, and who make me smile, but more often than not I’m annoyed whenever the phone goes off or I have to stop what I’m doing to take care of a customer. This is not what I went to school for to be doing right now.
So, I’m thinking after this week I’m going to look for another job. Banks are hiring, and I won’t settle for less than what I’m making right now. But at least with a bank I would get benefits, and I really need a job that offers me that. I don’t want to work weekends anymore for some shitty job – I’d rather do something fun on the weekends or unwind. I’m ready for a 9-5 job, or something that’s better than this.
This place was a good in-between job, but it’s been over a year and it’s not even the same anymore. The drama is the kicker for me, and there are people who have gotten themselves fired or they quit, and I’m about ready to do the same. Going in to work for a job that doesn’t make me happy is stressing me out. I want to get myself on my feet, but I’m actually ruining my feet by the constant running around in shoes that are starting to wear hard from it. And then to get told that I need to make sure I have pockets now to carry around that stupid “hip” phone in case someone calls when I’m in the back. I’m so sick of answering that damn phone. And then getting yelled at if I don’t have it on me. My manager wants me to even take it with me to the bathroom. Like… it’s bullshit. I’m sorry, it’s not funny, it’s annoying as fuck.
My manager is not going to be happy if I tell him I’m looking for another job, but I can’t keep worrying about this store’s needs. I’m sick of it. I’m going to start applying for a few other jobs, and I’ll let him know that’s my plan. But if I get hired, then that’s it, I’m done. My plan originally was to try to get into serving next door eventually, but it’s looking like that’s not going to happen because we simply can’t keep cashiers. That’s not my problem.
The other problem with him scheduling me 45 hours a week is that it’s going to kick me off of my free medical through the state. I’m going to have to resubmit my pay stubs soon, and if I’m making too much money, they’ll cut me off. I can’t afford health insurance right now, so it would literally fuck me over. And it may happen that way yet. This is why I need a job that offers benefits.
Let me also vent about the fact that my main kitchen manager also spends as much time as possible on the computer. Friday, he spent all afternoon working on the damned schedule. Who needs 5-6 hours on writing out a schedule? Yes, there are issues sometimes, but… what the hell are you doing? Then he wants to bitch if things aren’t done, yet he has done very little to help out. And the funniest part is the moment that Alex or the owner walks in, he comes out and tries to act like he’s working. He thinks he’s so sly or something.
Don’t get me wrong, I like this guy as a person, I think he’s a great guy. But as a manager, I’m seeing all these flaws and when he fired Steve he kind of let his power get to him. He doesn’t consider Alex, the other kitchen manager, at all. They’re supposed to be a team. Steve did deserve to get fired in a lot of sense. He was telling coworkers to fuck off and he let his attitude get the best of him. However, he was a hard worker, and if he had been treated with an ounce of respect, it may not have gotten that bad.
He and…let’s call my other kitchen manager Pat… he and Pat clashed heads from the get-go. Because Pat had come in last year and tried to change everything. Steve has been working at this place for over three years. Yet anyone working there longer than Pat, he has a thing against them or something. Another coworker of mine has a feeling he’s trying to replace the older workers all with new people who look up to him as a good boss.
This is what I mean by drama, I’m sick of it. I’m over kitchen drama, and things I had to listen to at my old job. Someone always out to get someone else. What are we? Kids? The problem with Pat, is that if he doesn’t like you, then he will look for every ample opportunity to fire your ass. I’m on his good side because I’m a hard worker, but it’s getting to be too much relying on me. And I’ve been letting them know over and over I don’t intend to stay there forever. I thought I would stay there until I made it to Pittsburgh, but I don’t think I’m going to see Pittsburgh anytime soon. It’s going to be a work in progress, and I really don’t want to be working this job and dealing with college kids on a regular anymore. It’s exhausting. I can’t do it anymore.
For me, it’s the struggle of letting people know I don’t want to work here anymore. When I quit my first job, I felt so guilty for leaving. My old boss was cool with it, she didn’t want me to leave, but she understood. But leading up to it – I struggle with confrontations. And if I like you, it’s even harder. I feel like a disappointment quitting a job. But I need to stop worrying about everyone else’s needs and focus on my own.
I told myself that this month would be the chance to change things and start on my goals. Maybe changing jobs is part of that. I really need a change of scenery before I go crazy. The job I have, I know I have it good with the people. But it’s not what I enjoy, and I know I’m not going to find much of what I enjoy – but if I can find a job where I’m making more money, then I can compromise. Also, if I get hired at a bank, I’d have the same hours – all morning, and most weekends off. Also, all major holidays and government holidays off. Plus benefits. That really outweighs what I have right now.
Change has to come soon, I can’t keep letting it go on like this. My mom just quit yet another job of hers, and that’s no longer my problem. She wants to bitch about the bills, but yet can’t maintain a job longer than a few months without walking out. I need her to get on it about applying to other jobs – especially ones she doesn’t have to work with people. Because it shouldn’t keep falling on me. Nobody is on top of the bills here except me. I have said countless times that we need to write the dates when everything is due down, that way we don’t keep falling behind. Does anyone listen to me? No, I’m just a stupid college kid or something. Having bills in three people’s names is not easy when you can’t rely on them to pay their own bills.
I’m paying a Comcast bill of $130 every month for high speed internet and basic cable. I don’t even watch the fucking cable, but yet I’m required to pay it? It’s bullshit. I need to have a talk with them about this because if they want to keep the TV, then someone has got to start contributing. I pay for Hulu and Netflix monthly and that’s so much cheaper than the $65 bullshit that is basic cable. I just don’t understand why everything is falling on my shoulders. At home, at my job. I don’t want this responsibility. I just want to start living and enjoying my life.
The way I see it, too, is if I get myself into a steady job, where the hours are also steady, I can focus more on my photography and other things I enjoy doing. Once I get my license – I can rely on having certain days off to go freelance and do my own thing. The other day I took some photos uptown and it made me fall back in love with photography. I finally broke out my camera, and it was just like riding a bike – I knew how to work it. This is what makes me happy. Writing makes me happy. Work… it makes me stressed and wanting to be anywhere but there.
Change has to come soon. It just has to.