August was a productive month for me! Quite a few things happened, and one of them started with getting myself back into blogging. So here’s the ones I actually remembered:
-Got myself back into writing
-Continued seeing my unofficial (yet) boyfriend (Ray)
-Made a few getaway trips to Pittsburgh to see Ray
-Went out for my birthday
-Brought my credit score up
-Finally felt content with getting myself back on my feet
Was given a free Nikon DSLR
-Paid off my friend who I bought a Wii U off
-Work hired two new girls so the weight has been shifted
-It did not flood this month
-I still don’t have my physical or permit (things got messed up)
-I still live at home and still am stuck in this town
-College started back up, I miss the ghost town
-Money has been stretched thin
-My insurance has to be renewed
–Game of Thrones ended and the final season is a year and a half away
Honestly, all in all though, August was not a bad month. There was more good than bad, and I’ve been focusing on staying positive! Nothing good comes from stressing yourself out all the time. The other thing I’ve noticed with me, too, is ever since I got into this relationship I’ve just been happier overall. It’s like for half of the year I was in this kind of depressive state, and then I started seeing Ray, and I stopped worrying about being alone. Sometimes all you need is to have someone steady in your life who makes you happy. Whether that’s a friend or a partner.
Friends have been all over the place lately for me. My best friend lives in another state, and my high school best friend had a baby back in February and kind of stopped talking to everyone. I got her to talk to me briefly earlier on in the month, and then she stopped again. She texted me “Happy Birthday,” but that’s been the only time I’ve heard from her. It makes me sad, but there’s not much else I can do. I haven’t seen her kid since the hospital, I just feel like we’ve drifted. She was mentioning she and her husband were having issues, and we were supposed to meet up and talk about it, but she backed off completely. I guess I just feel these days that if she wants a friend I’ll be here, but I’m kind of getting tired of trying. Would showing up at her home randomly be too much? I’m starting to feel it’d be the only way to get her to talk to me again.
I guess you could say that’s another low point of this month. My friendships with people I was once super close with have drifted. The only real people I talk to anymore are my coworkers. My best friend who lives out of state, I met her in college, and she’s been about the only consistent friend I’ve had these days. Her life has been hectic, too, but we always find time to catch up every few weeks.
Low point: I realize I might be having a quarter-life crisis where everyone around me is getting married, having kids, and starting big time jobs. I’m still stuck in the same place, but I’m still working on that goal to get myself out of this rut. I hate phone calls, but I know I need to get on it about getting my insurance figured out and getting a physical done. I need my license. I’m actually a little worried that since classes have started, I’m not going to see Ray as much. So if I can get myself driving, at least I can drive to him. And I could look for some jobs down in the city. That’s what I want to strive for.
My goals for this month are just that. I want to get myself motivated to get this stuff done before winter approaches. They’re critical things, I can’t keep delaying them. If I have to pay out of pocket for a damn physical then I guess I’ll have to do that. I’d rather not, but I need to get it done. I do have a friend in Pittsburgh who still is offering to help me with my license and driving, and the only thing preventing that right now is me. So time to get my ass in gear. I can blame things on my situation over and over again, but truthfully I’ve been holding myself back. Saying I’m too tired, too unmotivated, don’t want to deal with it. That’s on me, not someone else.
September, I’m ready for you.