Cheating is one of those things you’ve either done it before and can relate, or you are strictly against it. I guess I’d fall somewhere in the middle. Not to say that I support cheating, I don’t at all. If you’re with someone who makes you want to stray, you’re in the wrong relationship and you need to end that before you do something that hurts you both in the end.
I say I’m in the gray area because I understand that there are circumstances where people do things that just happen. It doesn’t make it right, but I understand if someone feels unhappy or stuck in a relationship and they stray. Or if the love of your life comes back around and things happen. It’s not always black and white, you don’t know what the person is going through or why they do it. And I’m not going to judge someone that harshly if I can understand their reasons – we are only human. It doesn’t mean I have to support it.
However, if you’re the kind to just cheat on someone who’s good to you – I don’t understand or respect that (not that I respect cheating in general). If you can’t commit yourself, then you shouldn’t even be in a relationship. There are good people out there, and then they get stuck with someone who just hurts them in the end by hooking up with someone else.
And no, I don’t believe in that whole “well if they don’t know, it can’t hurt them.” It hurts them. Because you’re holding yourself back from being true to someone if you’re also with someone else. Cheating is wrong.
If you’ve entered a new relationship, then maybe you need to think about cutting those ties if you’re also talking to other guys/girls. I met the guy I’m seeing off tinder, and he wasn’t the only guy I was talking to at the time. But after our first date, I cut out those other guys, because I finally found someone who wanted something more than sex from me, and I wasn’t going to hold back on that. That was my way of committing myself fully. You can’t move forward with someone if you’re flirting with others.
For me, I swear after I got into this new relationship, that’s when I started getting hit up by a couple of old flames. It was right after, and one guy hit me up telling me if I hadn’t of said I was with someone new now, he was going to ask if I wanted to come up to Harrisburg to spend some time with him. He was happy for me at least. And then this guy, Adam, who is one long story of internet romance, he hit me up saying we need to finally meet (he lives in California and works in Montana in the summer. He’s a firefighter) and he didn’t care if I was seeing someone. I told him not as long as I’m seeing someone. I’m not that kind of girl.
Cheating is just something I personally could never do. There was a time where I met up with 2 guys (the one was just a couple of awkward dates) while I was seeing someone (unofficially, we were never a real couple), but the minute something happened with the one, I felt so guilty I wound up ending the other relationship. And nothing ever went further with the guy I messed around with. To me, that basically sums up cheating. It’s not worth it. Either commit yourself to this person you’re seeing, or end it. If your feelings are mixed, talk to them, try to work it out. I know situations can make or break people, but don’t use it as an excuse to cheat.
Anything that involves any kind of close contact or sexual intimacy, it’s cheating. If you kiss someone else, it’s cheating. If you’re flirting with someone else, you’re practically cheating. If you’re having sex with someone else, you are most definitely cheating. People have moments of weakness, sometimes they realize that they’re doing the wrong thing after it’s already too late. And at that point, you can only hope you’re with someone who can forgive you for what you did.
I guess for me, it would depend on what my partner had done and my relationship in general. If they were to cheat, I dunno how I’d react. “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” they say. But there is that gray area. It truly would have to be decided based off the circumstance. There are some things you can forgive, others that are a lot harder to.
What’re your thoughts on cheating?