These days are getting are getting harder and harder for me to be understanding with my mother. Her and I share a bank account, much to my dismay, but for awhile it was something that we had to do. Anymore, I’ve been wanting to get my own account, but according to her, “there’s never enough time,” basically. So I’ve sucked it up and tried to deal with it.
Except, when I got paid on Friday I decided to pay half of my cell-phone bill. Because, the money I just deposited is technically mine, right? Wrong. According to her, because she drives me to and from work, it’s her money. And, you know, I don’t pay any of the bills except my cell-phone one. Here’s the thing: The bills are under HER name. Plus, she’s late on them. Is that my fault? Apparently somehow it is. Because despite the fact that our money is mixed together, I never pay any of the bills.
I fail to understand her logic. Especially concerning the fact that her and her boyfriend have been going out to eat a lot, and plus they buy alcohol. Ohhh and she also took $150 out of the bank. But yet I’m irresponsible for wanting to pay my bills on time. I can’t deal with this anymore. What am I supposed to think when she’s pulled stuff like this my entire life?
Everyone I know tells me I need to get away from it. Honestly, I know that’s what I need. But it’s almost like she wants me to believe I’m irresponsible so I won’t leave. Her logic is messed up, and she’s gotten selfish as she’s aged. She feels I owe her a lot because of the fact that she’s my mother. And I’m not saying I don’t owe her, but what she’s asking for is for me to live my life for her. She wouldn’t do that for her own mother, and I sure as hell am not doing it for her. I’ve tried, countless times, to try and do right by her, but I always mess up somehow.
The problem is, she won’t accept the fact that her and I need a break from each other. Just because I spend most of my time in my room instead of out in the living room with her does not equate a break. My sleep suffers, I’ve grown bitter, and I mentally can’t handle it anymore.
People more irresponsible than me live on their own. And most people would have walked out by now. She has a boyfriend now, she doesn’t need me like she did before. I just really need to get out of here before I lose the rest of my sanity.