As a kid, I remember time felt like it passed slow. While the school year may have dragged back then, the summers were also a lot longer – or so they felt at least. It’s funny how once certain life stages are reached, time starts speeding up. Middle school went by slow, but it still passed more quickly then Elementary school. And then once I reached high school – time started flying. Before I knew it, those three years were over and I was graduating. But the worst is how much faster it is now that I’m out of high school (and in college). I even took a year off after high school – and that year went by fast, despite the wasted time.
Being an adult sucks. Not only is your responsibility greater, but it feels like there’s never enough time for everything. It’s a lot easier for time to pass by quickly, then months later realize you’ve accomplished zilch and you’re still in the same place. I feel that being back in school (high school, middle school, etc.) kind of kept things more grounded. College is more free, you pick and choose your classes (unless, you know, they’ve been picked over and you’re left with a raw deal for that semester), but you don’t always have to have them everyday. The workload is harder (the higher up your year, generally, the more difficult the work), and, plus, most of us work.
The main difference, though, is college is something you have to pay for (at least here in the States). I’m heading into my third year and I’m already piling up in student debt – and I’m still living at home! The worse thing is, if I move out, my debt will increase due to living on my own. Oh yeah, sure, I’ll get more money back to help out with my education, but there’s also all that money that I’ll have to pay back after I graduate. But, at the same time, I’m feeling the increasing need more and more that school should be my top priority. I didn’t worry too much about it before, but with the fact that my grades suffered last semester, I’m worried that if I don’t try and give it my all I’m going to fail.
If I could work less during the semester I’d be okay. The main problem with last semester is they scheduled me every weekend – and I had a huge group project to do. Every time they wanted to meet, it fell on a Saturday morning. And I always worked (10 am – 6 pm was the usual). Eventually, they got sick of me not being able to show up, and they wouldn’t work with me, so they kicked me out of the group. The pressure overwhelmed me when I got stuck working on it by myself, and, well, I didn’t do so hot (at least it wasn’t an F!). Inspiration for it literally hit me the night before it was due, and I just didn’t have the time to finish it properly.
My point? Being an adult is hard. You don’t get second chances in college like we could back in high school. Deadlines are rarely extended, and you can’t exactly have your parent call the school and complain. My one professor even stated that he’d basically lose respect for anyone who would do that because of the fact that we’re adults now. But let’s face it, it’s not always easy to be responsible, and there’s a lot of weight put on yourself just to get through everything.
I miss being a kid, and there are a lot of times I wish I could go back and do things differently. Make things right. But most of all – appreciate what I had. Actually no, scratch that – learn to stand up for myself. If I had fought more to get out more when I was younger I think things would’ve been different. I’ve always been a people pleaser, and I’ve always tried to do what I could to make my mom happy. So when she said “No” I listened and backed off, even when I really wanted to do something.
Being an adult isn’t always bad, though. There is more freedom in a way, and I’ve managed to at least keep more friends. When I was growing up, my mom didn’t trust anyone, so she wouldn’t let me be in the car with someone she didn’t know (because she didn’t know how they drove and she was worried about my safety). Nowadays, she could care less. And really, she’s accepted that she’s done things wrong. I just need to step out of my comfort zone and find a way to get out more. The problem is trying to do the responsible thing at the same time trying to do the right thing. But, maybe, I need to let go of trying to grow up so fast and let myself have fun and not worry so much about the future. You’re only young once.