I had my last day of work yesterday. How crazy is that? This job I’ve been at for well over 2 years that’s been stressing me out so much? I finally got myself out. C and I are Pittsburgh bound tomorrow, but there is still so much left to pack and get done. Doesn’t help that I’m sick either.
The last month has felt crazy surreal. The fact that I’m really moving is starting to finally sink in. I’ve been working so much it hasn’t felt real yet. But yesterday I started to pack my room, spending my last day at home. Aside from throwing my clothes in bags, it’s pretty much done and ready to go.
Time has been flying by so. damn. fast. I seriously cannot keep up with it anymore. It feels like it’s been a lot of me fighting lately, fighting to get out of this situation I’ve felt stuck and cooped up in. But I’ve also been at a standstill, waiting for things to change, for something to move.
PSYCHOPATHIC: suffering from or constituting a chronic mental disorder with abnormal or violent social behavior.
I’m not one to claim I know everything about mental disorders, but I realize that I’ve used the word psycho way too loosely in the past. My first journal entry back a couple weeks ago (here), I mentioned how I got attacked by C’s ex friend. She kept insinuating that things were going on between them. Actually, let me back up and go into that night to give you guys a clear picture of how psychotic she is. Oh, for starters, she’s bipolar, skips her medication, takes drugs and drinks alcohol. Let’s call her Tori.
It’s crazy to believe that it’s already August, which means a year ago, I restarted this blog and brought it back alive. And then a few months ago, I went and stopped blogging again. When you look back over the last year, it’s bizarre the amount of changes that can happen.
I know I’ve been a little M.I.A. the last 2 months, and I’m sorry for falling off the grid. Life’s been kind of hectic to be honest. It’s like once I spent a week away with C, I started spending all of my time over at his place. And when I’m home? My mom is taking up my time. So between work, my mother, and C, I’ve had my hands full.
I feel like I have no time to write these days. I’ve been constantly on the go, or doing something this week. Between work, my mom, and C, the time in between is few and far between.
Okay, I did have some time this week, but I spent it playing Red Dead Redemption on my Xbox 360. I bought the game a week and a half ago and finally found time to play it. And… it’s addicting. I can’t believe I’ve never played it before. It’s a new addiction I don’t have time for.
Plan B officially has fucked up my cycle. It’s been a month, and after the random spotting I had for about 2 weeks after I took it, my period is officially late and I know it’s because of taking it. Never again. But because my period is late, I’ve been feeling hormonal lately and it downright sucks.
It’s funny, how when you look back on things you realize things you never realized before. Looking back at the 10 months I spent with Ray, I’m noticing things I just didn’t make a big deal out of back then.
When Ray and I started dating, we met off of tinder. We matched, and I want to say I messaged him first. After a couple of days of talking, he had mentioned he wanted to take me out for drinks. When I told him I was about an hour away, he was still down for meeting up, and he drove up to see me a few days later.