Journal Entry (#55)

Monday,

November 26, 2018

I’m a dreamer. I’ve always been. Maybe it’s why I’m so passionate about change but so afraid to embrace it. Uprooting my life has been hard. It’s a change I worked for, busted my ass for – and I know it’s going to work out and things will be okay! – but by God, it’s fucking killing me.

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Journal Entry (#54)

November 8, 2018

6:51 PM

I’ve had so much free time on my hands, I don’t even know what to do with myself right now. Why is it that we have the most time when we don’t have money to do anything?

Netflix and Hulu decided to draw money out of my account at the same time. I wasn’t even thinking, I would’ve been okay, but I spent $12 at Sunoco and with the $20 deducted on top of that? My $15 turned into -$57 after the overdraft fee was added in.

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Journal Entry (#53)

November 3, 2018

9:57 AM

Hey guys, long time no see. Things have been so hectic! Let me tell you, I moved, and it was the biggest shit show of a move. Never again. The next time we move, I’m giving myself at least a week before we need to be out. Because this shit was awful.

So my last update I had just quit my job, and we had one day to be out. Well, they let us know they wouldn’t actually be there until 8:30 AM Wednesday morning, so it gave us a little more time.

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Journal Entry (#52)

October 15, 2018
11:06 AM

I had my last day of work yesterday. How crazy is that? This job I’ve been at for well over 2 years that’s been stressing me out so much? I finally got myself out. C and I are Pittsburgh bound tomorrow, but there is still so much left to pack and get done. Doesn’t help that I’m sick either.

The last month has felt crazy surreal. The fact that I’m really moving is starting to finally sink in. I’ve been working so much it hasn’t felt real yet. But yesterday I started to pack my room, spending my last day at home. Aside from throwing my clothes in bags, it’s pretty much done and ready to go.

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Journal Entry (#51)

September 27, 2018
2:31 PM

Time has been flying by so. damn. fast. I seriously cannot keep up with it anymore. It feels like it’s been a lot of me fighting lately, fighting to get out of this situation I’ve felt stuck and cooped up in. But I’ve also been at a standstill, waiting for things to change, for something to move.

Then last week my dog died.

Achilles, my dog. He was an Alaskan Malamute mix. Adopted him in 2012, he was only about 8 or 9 years old. Miss him a lot ❤

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Journal Entry (#50)

August 9, 2018
11:20 AM

PSYCHO:  a deranged or psychopathic person

PSYCHOPATHICsuffering from or constituting a chronic mental disorder with abnormal or violent social behavior.

I’m not one to claim I know everything about mental disorders, but I realize that I’ve used the word psycho way too loosely in the past. My first journal entry back a couple weeks ago (here), I mentioned how I got attacked by C’s ex friend. She kept insinuating that things were going on between them. Actually, let me back up and go into that night to give you guys a clear picture of how psychotic she is. Oh, for starters, she’s bipolar, skips her medication, takes drugs and drinks alcohol. Let’s call her Tori.

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Journal Entry (#48)

July 18, 2018
3:33 PM

Hey guys,

I’m alive.

I know I’ve been a little M.I.A. the last 2 months, and I’m sorry for falling off the grid. Life’s been kind of hectic to be honest. It’s like once I spent a week away with C, I started spending all of my time over at his place. And when I’m home? My mom is taking up my time. So between work, my mother, and C, I’ve had my hands full.

Via Unsplash

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Journal Entry (#47)

May 18, 2018
10:06 PM

I feel like I have no time to write these days. I’ve been constantly on the go, or doing something this week. Between work, my mom, and C, the time in between is few and far between.

Okay, I did have some time this week, but I spent it playing Red Dead Redemption on my Xbox 360. I bought the game a week and a half ago and finally found time to play it. And… it’s addicting. I can’t believe I’ve never played it before. It’s a new addiction I don’t have time for.

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Journal Entry (#46)

May 12, 2018
9:27 AM

Plan B officially has fucked up my cycle. It’s been a month, and after the random spotting I had for about 2 weeks after I took it, my period is officially late and I know it’s because of taking it. Never again. But because my period is late, I’ve been feeling hormonal lately and it downright sucks.

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